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What’s in a Name — Nothing, but a LOT can be done to it

Let’s first get something very Clear: My Official Name : It is MADHUR CHADHA and there is no spelling mistake here.

I never really knew that my name could be tough to pronounce or spell for anyone, but boy, have I been wrong?.

Here are some of my favorites things that have been done to my name

The Chadda Complex

A lot of people have had the tenacity to tell me that I was “accidentally” spelling my last name wrong. It is supposed to be “Chadda” not “Chadha” or even “Chada”

Yeah, probably one of my ancestors was bad at spelling and I have to live with that

At least half of my college certificates have Chadda in them. This is something I kind of lived with since childhood

Maaadhur

I joined Infosys Hyderabad in 2006, it was the “Communications” teacher who was taking the attendance.

I marveled at her ability to pronounce those complicated names(To my “never stepped out of faridabad” ears) . She was the type of person who knew it is Telugu, not Telegu …until she met her nemesis. My name.

After about 30 seconds of trying to arch her lips in the perfect fashion to make the sound that represented that supremely complicated name—She muttered Moaaaadhor, I still do not know what exactly she said, but it was me. Everyone else had “easy” names. I was already famous.

PS: The next name was Madhulaletty –And she did not even have to read it. It was like Neha for her

When the communication instructor cannot pronounce your name…you do start questioning your whole life

The Moon

Overconfidence kills and can sometimes lead to hilarious results.

In 2009, I was starting a project with a company in the US . Before traveling, we had to send our details so that they can get our email , access cards etc ready. The guy handling that on the client side was an Indian, and being an Indian, he thought he knew all Indians.

He read it once and entered my details as “Madhur Chandra”.

Now the way they made email ids was <last name><first 2 letters of first name> @<domain.com>

So I landed in US and emailed my colleagues back in India with my shiny new email ID

chandrama@<client.com> (Chandrama means the moon in Hindi)

I just got 1-word reply for multiple senior people “Lol”

PS: NO American has EVER misspelled my name. They copy paste from my signature. It is always my fellow countrymen

Mr Mathur

I have no clue why, but a LOT of Hyderabadi’s think my name is Mathur . They not only pronounce it like that (which is Ok) but spell it too. I have been corrected on this (can you imagine?)

One of my Microsoft colleagues used to ALWAYS refer to me as Mathur in Emails. I do not like to correct people on email , I sound like an obnoxious jerk correcting minor errors.

I decided to tacitly bring it to his attention.

  • I started putting my first name as a  signature in my emails(even replies). ~Thanks, Madhur.That did not work
  • I Started putting my FULL name in email, to draw his attention
  • I bolded my Name, First name….put colors …highlighters

There still is a Microsoft employee who thinks that he had a colleague called “Mathur Chadha”

How do you correct someone after they have spelled your name wrong for 1 year and you never corrected him ?

He won, I lost. In honor of this name, I  keep my screenname as “Mathur” in a lot of online games.Remember that if you are playing someone called “Mathur”

NSFW 

Now that does not mean, my name is awesome and cannot lead to unfortunate but hilarious situations.

When I joined Microsoft, and had had my fanboy moments, I  was finally presented with my email ID. I had looked forward to that shiny new @microsoft.com email address that I could flaunt

But Microsoft used the following formulae for creating you email ID that time. <2 letters of Firstname><last name>@<domain>

yes: My email ID was machadha@microsoft.com

Don’t get it? Say it out loud in one go…over and over again and see the people around you react.

No surprises, I did not message people my ID, but went to their desk and told them machadha.

Yes, I got it changed soon. A joke has a limited shelf life and mine was also NSFW

Yeah…so what’s in a name.

Now when someone talks about their name being tough.I chuckle…

Son, you have no idea…and my name was supposed to be simple

Or perhaps people are inspired by this Ron Swanson Mantra of Life

~Mathur

 

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Lessons from Jab Tak Hai Jaan

So I watched JTHJ and to be frank, it was an amazing eye opening experience. Such depth of character, such intelligent cinematography and such beautiful story. It could not have been made perfect

Anyways, we all pick cues about new trends and socially acceptable behaviors from movies so I thought it would be appropriate to talk about my learnings  from this movie

In London you can be arrested for wrong parking: I am not kidding, this was actually there in the movie. Remember that song…That went Ta da..something something..etc etc..blah blah…? Sharukh and Katrina parked the bike at the wrong spot and the next moment you see two policemen noting down the bike number and Sharukh and Katrina in Handcuffs…yes Handcuffs.Those people are THAT strict about traffic laws. Can you imagine?

Sex in phone booth is for display not privacy: OK , I had my concepts all screwed up before this. I used to think that couples get on each other,literally, in phone booths because possibly they have no other private place…irrespective of how low the privacy is , it is better than “on the road” kind of thing BUT again in that song..yes the same as above, I saw both of them making out in a phone booth with glass walls, right on the streets with people walking past from all sides. I thought phone booth was somewhat akin a changing room in showrooms, little did I know that it was meant to be a display window .

Army and Rules…Forget it: I thought army was a very disciplined organization but it seems I was wrong. A bomb disposal squad can Chose to not wear protective gear,reporters can just join you in bomb disposal trials (without protection), you can chose to not shave for months and basically treat everything as your fiefdom. Rules..naaaa

How to use a mosquito repellent: I was doing it all wrong all my life. If I went camping , I sprayed the repellent in my tent and actually slept Inside it, little did I know that I need to play mind games with the mosquitoes and game the system. Anushka was shown spraying mosquito repellent in her tent and then finally sleeping outside it , not inside. Just Imagine how confused the mosquitoes would be..I can imagine the questions going in it’s mind

Bite or not bile is the question ..Is stupidity a contagious disease? What exactly is there in the tent? Am I dying for Nothing?

Retrograde amnesia, did you not know that?: In the scene where the doctor tells SRK that he has amnesia, he looked confused ,so to clarify the matters the doctor stressed..Retrograde Amnesia and all air was cleared. I can’t tell you how stupid I felt. Why did I, or most of the people I know not know this? Why is retrograde amnesia more explanatory than Amnesia…Please help me someone. I am too stupid to understand.

New ways to dump someone: Just tell them I made a promise to GOD that I will never meet you again in return for your good health , this is a perfectly logical and intelligent way of breaking up and makes a lot of sense. The best part is that it is not binding ,you can still keep on meeting the person ,like to tell them about your decision and when they fall ill again , cheating is allowed you see.And you can always reverse it by saying you misinterpreted God’s Will…Think about all the applications of this. I can see a lot of married men using this

“Katrina left SRK for his good health, you just keep one day fast (karvachouth), follow her”

Or even women

“I think I am not doing enough for your health, let me leave you..its for your own good ”

Swimming Champs can be drowned easily: Don’t get me started on this

To test if a Girl loves you , just kiss her. If she does not push you off she loves you.

Wanna try Bomb disposal in London? Sure why not? everyone’s invited: No seriously, if there is a bomb and everyone is being Shahrukh-Khan-Katrina-Kaif-jab-tak-hai-jaanevacuated an you just know a few jargons, they will not only let you near the bomb but also try your hand at diffusing it.

Think about the applications, if some terrorist plants a bomb and it does not go of and is detected, he/she can simply walk up and correct it in live view, right under the nose of London police

If Katrina says she will marry you, she will NOT: I mean think about it, irrespective of how many years she has spent with you and maybe how much she likes you or even if her marriage has been fixed with you, she will NOT marry you. Someone will come.spend 2-3 days with her and she will fall for him.Be that guy.If you want Katrina, wait till her marriage is fixed and then find a way to be near her..maybe do her dishes , or mow her lawn….This is something she has done more than once..remember mere brother ki dulhan?

Treat GOD like Bollywood bad Dads: Yes exactly, they will almost kill your love and then blackmail you to leave them in lieu of letting your love live and that too without informing your love.Treat Gods like that…”God please let him live and I promise I will not meet him again so that he is devastated and lives like a dead man for the rest of his life”

 

So these were some of my learning from Jab tak hai jaan, in my defense I do like Sharukh khan movies and this movie was a must watch for me because  it was the last movie of Yash Raj Ji. Little did i know that it was actually a comedy movie, and my apologies to all people in theater that day ,whose movie going experience was destroyed by uncontrolled laughter, disbeleif and contant clarification on “Did it actually happen” comments by me and my friends…It was un intentional

~By Madhur Chadha

 

 

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Gift Certificate -Does it make sense?

There are various things in this world that are hard to understand and one of them being the use of gift certificate.

Why would anyone want to give a gift certificate at all?

The entire concept of gift giving is that you spent some time thinking about what the other person might like and bought it for Gift certificate usesthem , it’s the thought that counts..right?

So where exactly does Gift certificate fit in? It just shows that either you are too lazy to buy a gift or too lazy to try and find what the other person might want or maybe, you just want to give the other person the freedom to choose what they want.

If your reason is to give them the freedom then why on earth bind them to a shop by giving a gift certificate?

Why not simply give them cash?

I mean at one point you acknowledge that you do not know what the other person might like then you give them a gift certificate  telling them , you better like something from this place?

Its inefficient, wastes paper  and as per me shows no thought

What do you guys think?

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Marry Early and Prevent Rape: Letter to A Visionary Chautala ji

Chautala Ji,

Recently you said you supported reducing marrigiable age to prevent Rapes and sadly the moronic Marry Early and prevent being rapedMedia and so called women empowerment people started bashing you.

I thought I clear the air by telling the world what you stand for, what High ideals your party probably holds so that those dumbos can get some sense

 

  1. Rapist check the marital status before raping: Haila, those people never knew that, see. Also they did not know that married men don’t rape…right?.There is no abuse or marital violence or rapes after someone is married in Haryana
  2. Prime role of women in society is to be Ghar ki Izzat: See those dumbos talk about equal rights and women empowerment. You should teach them that all women are “Ghar ki Izzat” and to top it , she is only concerned with the Izzat of the house she occupies  a father or a husband. As you said “Bachhiyan Ki shaadi…blah blah blah”  the prime job of a father is to marry her daughter so that she is someone else’s problem.  As you rightly pointed out that people want to put the problem of women on someone else. It’s like a game of Tag..The father simply wants to TAG the groom with the girl..right?.
  3. We are living in Mughal era: Oh they did not know that you see, as you rightly compared we are living in medieval times and medieval laws apply. The government is totally incapable of anything .BTW…who was running the government in Haryana a few years back?. OOPS it was you?and there were still rapes that time? How come? . I take my words back Chautala ji: Let me rephrase “ The government will Bring BACK the MUGHAl RAJ times”. Since there are no tyrannical rulers ,you will encourage people to become like them. This is the only way you can bring back the glorious days of Mughals that you so miss. May I say you should make this as your POLL promise and you might return to power again
  4. Since you saw it, it will be right: You mentioned you have seen very young girls get married. Since you saw it , It SHOULD BE RIGHT. I do not understand how anyone can debate that? Our ancestors did nothing wrong EVER you see.
  5. Choosing your life partner. What’s that?: Chautala ji you should tell people that we do things differently here. Choosing a life partner is not something young girls or even guys should be doing. It is like breeding your cow or a bitch. You decide who they mate with and when. Children are a property of the parents and they should decide what they do for the rest of their lives and in return these kids get a chance to gamble with lives of their children. Fun isn’t it sir?
  6. Its your responsibility: A chief minister ,a government , police are simply  ways of giving  people a false sense of order and maybe  ways of making some people more important than others. Law and order and crime prevention was and will always be responsibility of an individual. If you come to power again sir …well-being of people will never part of your JOB…right?

 

May I dare add Chautala ji  that you should let those people know that you do not believe that women should even work, come on  let the world know what a wonderful and pure thought process you have. I am sure you hold those morals high.

 

Also on these lines I want to propose some more changes

  1. 16 is not young enough: Chautala ji a research should be done to find out what is the least rape prone age. This is essential for preventing our “Bachhiyan” from the “Bhediayas”. You can ask all “Bhediyas” to do the research and come up with a good figure. I am sure you will find many in Haryana. I believe the right age would be 0 years. Before a girl is born you should be able to marry her off.I am sure evolution will take over and girls will be born with a MangalSutra and Sindur
  2. Make Sex detection of fetus legal: Since it is such a pain to raise women let people chose if they are up for it. In Rapes it is always the women and her family who suffers   because it becomes her problem. As you must believe I suppose, she is the culprit ..right? Why force people to raise BAD girls in Haryana.Also people are against female infanticide but I am sure Sir you would totally support that
  3. Bring Back the old times: Chautala Ji, I know you miss the old times, why not we bring back more such well thought out  practices such as “Sati” . Also let’s go even further back, Stone Age. If  a boy likes a girl ,he should be able to win her by killing all who vie for her. Fun it will be. Also may I dare add that our ancestors also believed in dowry, why not bring it back? Let’s call it Up Keep or Maintenance fees . And people can have a column in shaadi.com “Expected Dowry”. Let me not even start with the practice of honor killing which thankfully is being practiced religiously in Haryana, Thanks to some wonderful leaders we have had

 

That’s all Chautala ji. May I say that you should keep doing what you are doing, do what you believe in and let all the people shout. As a leader and Ex Chief minister of a STATE it is if YOU who knows what’s best for the people. Also do not worry about elections, all people who believe that the onus of preventing rapes lies not on the state but people themselves will vote for you

I hope this letter clears all doubts in the minds of your detractors

Hail Chautala

My Learning: A few months ago Gurgaon administration taught me that a women’s clothes are responsible for rapes…and the best way to solve it is to Ban women from venturing out. Today you taught me that the best way is to simply get them married as soon as possible and your problem is solved. I am learning a lot from you elders..Thank you for such wonderful teachings

 

And I thought—Better education, stricter punishments and more vigilance was the solution
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omka0zbjOIw]

~Update: Now congress spokesperson from Haryana Dharamveer Goyal has now made a statement, 90% of the rapes are consensual . I do not know if I should cry or laugh

http://www.istream.com/news/watch/191602/90-rapes-are-consensual

By Madhur Chadha

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Veer tum bade chalo

Does this happen to you? When you have a lot to study you study nothing . In this madness of not doing

Me fighting exams
Ready for exams

anything while there is so much to do, the mind starts playing tricks with you, everything in this world looks brighter,the weather is just too awesome, you suddenly get an urge to write poetry, you feel like learning something new,wikipedia becomes your friend….

In such instance of madness one of my fellow ISBian starts posting poetry and I suddenly become too creative in replying to him in poetry..here is a sample I wrote

Veer tum bade chalo
DHeer tum bade chalo
CFIN ki lalkaar ho
MADAM ki pukaar ho
Path se tum hato nahi
Neend se sato nahi

Coffe pe coffe peeta ja
Tu panne bhar bhar likhta ja
na kitaab Kholi kabhi
asiignment bhi kari nahi
to aaj tum date raho
Kitaab ke sang baithe raho

bas chand lamhe aur hain
Kuch hi panne aur hain
ye waqt bhi nikal jayega
kisi tarah kat jayega

In the end I would like to say to myself…DON’T KEEP THINGS TILL THE LAST MOMENT..FOR GOD SAKE IT NEVER WORKS

You really thought
Yes I DID..
Meme Taken From Farzinews
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Open letter to Airtel–Thank you SO MUCH from a happy transformed customer

Hello Airtel Customer service,

I write this letter to compliment and thank you for some exemplary customer service that you have rendered to me over the past few months. For the benefit of the readers let me give a complete gist of why I am in awe of you guys

1. You told me my Real Name: I grew up believing my name was Madhur Chadha. Apparently my parents did not tell me the complete truth .You guys figured out ,I don’t know how, that it actually was Madhur Chadha Talwar. Even my parents were surprised to know that ,they had no idea that my Name had Talwar at the end. I must profusely thank you for telling me this big secret.

2. You told me what my email ID should be: Again I had no idea that I was using a wrong email id all my life.Instead of [email protected] it was YOU who told me that it was [email protected] How did I not know that? You brought the moon(chanda) to my life.The best part was that even after innumerable calls and emails and SMSes you stuck by your stand and did not change it,rather sent me a mail at my wrong(one i was using) id that you have corrected it to [email protected] . You changed it once in a while to pacify me but as you are the BIG BOSS you changed it back at your own sweet will.

3.You decided my lucky number: I though that I had the option of choosing a number but apparently I was wrong. Though I requested a 9 series number ending in 335 you chose to give me a whole different number from 8 series .Again in-spite of many promises you did to me to offer a new number, you stuck to your stand and never called back. How DARE I request a change

4. Taught me that leaders should not be respected:  Out of sheer misjudgment on my part I was under the impression that if I emailed Sunil Bharti Mittal, you would at least listen to me but again you taught me something else.Every email sent to Sunit Mittal Sir for whom I had immense respect went in vain, you still did nothing.I actually felt sorry for him.But I respect your company where a customer service agent can ignore his CEO with such disdain.In most other companies it would be as good as insulting him but you guys are above all that. A true flat company I must say

5.You taught me how to lie: I have studied a bit management too and day in and day out we were taught about being ethical, not lying to customers and how to conduct business fairly ,but YOU taught me that it was all junk. In business especially customer service,the biggest asset is lying. Your customer reps lied to me so many times that I have lost count. Some of the lying includes : “We will give you a call back in 24 hrs”, “we will give you a new number in 72 hrs”,”your call is important to us”, “We have noted down everything in the ticket ” and the BEST ONE “We completely comprehend your viewpoint and sincerely apologize for any difficulty caused to you by our Customer service department.”

I also really like the jest that you put at the very end of emails “We hope that we have been able to address your query. ” Its funny and sad at the same time.

Your Zonal offices do not respond to emails and you have figured out how to shut up customers like me by calling me up again and again and asking me to explain the problem to a different customer rep who has no idea of what I am talking about.

6. How to read fast:To be frank this is the best learning I have ever HAD.How to read fast, you guys are phenomenal.I have tried sending you detailed emails explaining my issues ,even created bullet points,tables and was about to create charts also but you guys simply never read .Instead told me that you have changed my email ID to [email protected](the email ID that is not mine).The number issue never figured in your emails.This is what I call prioritization. You guys are phenomenal at that and should be training corporates on how to read.

I can go on and on but sadly am at loss of words, at the end I will say ,sorry Airtel and thank you for doing this to me .Now I am off to legally change my name (though you have changed it for the time being,not sure how long it would stick) and email ID and my preferences for a 9 series because at the end Airtel hai to dosti hai.

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Loren ipsum–What to write when you have nothing to write

I have recently started a bet with a few friends to write a blog every single day for the next 30 days. For every missed day you get thrown into the pool.

For the past 15 days i have been able to keep up, missing not even a single day. But today , i seriously have run out of idea

I actually mulled over the idea to write

Is there life after death
Generic beutiful pic

but decided against it. What if somebody reads it.

So just making a list of things to write when you have nothing to write

1. Make lists: Easiest way to write is make a list of any damn thing. Fills up space, looks well thought out 😛

2.Write on every alive topic such as corruption

3.write about your day, somehow i don’t get it but many personal blogs are very popular

4.Write about how difficult it is to write

5.Insert a lot of or at least some BIG beautiful pictures

 

So here was my 5 step guide, eazy pezy .

happy writing

 

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When not to honk for dummies—extended

 

You are on the road , chilling out, minding your own business and suddenly Hoooooonk, teed e du teed….

Read this before you honk away to glory

Blowing your own horn
Read this before you honk away to glory

You turn back and you see a Car wallah honking his car horn ,nobody knows why. I do not know what sadistic pleasure people derive by Honking unnecessarily, especially the ones with pressure horns ,horns that can be heard miles and miles away.This post is dedicated to such people. A guide to not Honking or inappropriate uses of a Honk,whatever you want to call it

Here is the list

Yeah I have arrived: You just saved a hell lot of money and bought your first car/Bike and I know you are happy. Good, please be happy but for God’s sake don’t share the happiness with everyone on the road by honking. Yeaah we know your car also has a horn, a freaking horn that actually makes a sound, can you believe that? but still don’t push that Horn button. If you really do push it , think like this, there are 1000s of people who buy cars every day and many of them are more expensive than yours, many buy their second,third bikes, they buy with change in their pocket and most people around you own a car/bike already, you are late join, so basically you are not really special and if you still feel like showing Off, Go bang your head on the road

Attracting the chicks: Seriously you think so? If yes you probably will never get one and don’t even deserve one. Ohh so that lady that day looked at you when you honked, no she wasn’t appreciating your honking but actually telling her friend that you are a looser. And if you actually attract a girl by honking, I am sorry you probably paid for it

At Red Lights: Ok the next time you honk when the light is red think like this, what is the purpose of my life? Why i am I even alive?

I still don’t understand why people behind me Honk when I am merrily standing at a red light. Is the light green from where you see it? It can only happen if you are at least a couple of light years away.I always point out to wards the RED colored light when someone does that ,but I don’t get it, don’t you know RED is for stop? Please go back to school. I seriously believe if someone does that he should be forced to sit with 3rd standard students for a month and read the chapter on Traffic lights, made to draw those lights and color them with crayons. People like these will probably fail

When light turns Green: Woooow you finally saw a green light, did you realize I saw one too. Now are you so happy that you want to express your excitement with a heartfelt HONK? or do you think people in front of you slept? Noone sleeps in freaking 1.5 minutes, no no-one on steering wheel. Even if you think so, wait for a minimum 20 sec before blowing your precious Horn

When an RJ tells you to: I am appalled at some Rjs asking people to Honk according to a certain tune or at a certain times. Wooow…Ok in your comfy studios it seems like a good idea, entire city honking at once,synchronized Pom Pom but Dude RJ, please come outside .100 different honks irrespective of how well they are timed are terrible, please don’t use this method to spread your popularity or gauge your reach. Grow up. All such RJs should be Fined for spreading unnecessary Sound pollution.

Whenever you see a bike: Contrary to popular opinion Bike drivers do hear. Yes you see that Biker who suddenly slowed down , in-spite of you honking continuously for 5 minutes he didn’t speed up. Well that could be me. You honk at me for no reason , I do that. I will slow down. Dude inside your cars you don’t hear the horns, come outside and enjoy the sweet sound of your pressure horn that you have blown continuously in my ears. I would let you pass if I had the tiniest fraction of space, but if you don’t stop honking I will make sure you don’t pass. Trust me , Iwont.Many bikers wont. Even if you are on a Truck or a freaking Ferrari, I will make sure you drive @40kmph(officially the speed limit at most places). Happy safe driving 🙂

Being TOO safe: Please don’t honk whenever you pass every car, you don’t get points for that. They can view you, that’s what rear view mirrors are for. Honk only if you sense real danger, if you sense danger with every car, you probably shouldn’t be driving

Calling your friends: I am fedup of people honking to let their friends know that they are standing outside their friends house .Ok dude, use your cellphone Also do you know all standard houses are equipped with something called a Door Bell.As if this much torture was not enough ,people honk again and again with the length of honk corresponding to level of irritation of wait. Please be human

I am bored: Ok this breed is beyond me, some honk just because they are bored while waiting,on traffic lights or just like that

 

And if you still miss your Honk, please load that in your iPod and listen to it when you sleep. Trust me you will wake up refreshed, you probably will not hear anything else again

Please add any more situations I might have missed.

SPREAD THE LIGHT..EDUCATE THE WORLD..SPREAD THE WORD….if you are a honker, i hope you are a convert, if you are not a honker, spread this to reach all honkers

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WHEN NOT TO HONK– A DUMMIES GUIDE

You are on the road , chilling out, minding your own business and suddenly Hoooooonk, teed e du teed….

Blowing your own horn
Read this before you honk away to glory

You turn back and you see a Car wallah honking his car horn ,no body knows why. I do not know what sadistic pleasure people derive by Honking unnecessarily, especially the ones with pressure horns This post is dedicated to such people. A guide to know when you should not Honk or inappropriate uses of a Honk.

Here is the list

Yeah I have arrived: You just saved a hell lot of money and bought your first car/Bike and I know you are happy. Good, please be happy but for God’s sake don’t share the happiness with everyone on the road by honking. Yeaah we know your car also has a horn, a freaking horn that actually makes a sound, can you believe that? but still don’t push that Horn button. If you really do push it , think like this, there are 1000s of people who buy cars every day and many of them are more expensive  than yours, many buy their second,third bikes, they buy with change in their pocket and most people around you own a car/bike already, you are late join, so basically you are not really special and if you still feel like showing Off, Go bang your head on the road

Attracting the chicks: Seriously you think so? If yes you probably will never get one and don’t even deserve one. Ohh so that lady that day looked at you when you honked, no she wasn’t appreciating your honking but actually telling her friend that you are a looser. And if you actually attract a girl by honking, I am sorry you probably paid for it

At Red Lights: Ok the next time you honk when the light is red think like this, what is the purpose of my life? Why i am I even alive?

I still don’t understand why people behind me Honk when I am merrily standing at a red light. Is the light green from where you see it? It can only happen if you are at least a couple of light years away.I always point out to wards the RED colored light when someone does that ,but I don’t get it, don’t you know RED is for stop? Please go back to school. I seriously believe if someone does that he should be forced to sit with 3rd standard students for a month and read the chapter on Traffic lights, made to draw those lights and color them with crayons. People like these will probably fail

When light turns Green: Woooow you finally saw a green light, did you realize I saw one too. Now are you so happy that you want to express your excitement with a heartfelt HONK? or do you think people in front of you slept? Noone sleeps in freaking 1.5 minutes, no no-one on steering wheel. Even if you think so, wait for a minimum 20 sec before blowing your precious Horn

When an RJ tells you to: I am appalled at some Rjs asking people to Honk according to a certain tune or at a certain times. Wooow…Ok in your comfy studios it seems like a good idea, entire city honking at once,synchronized Pom Pom but Dude RJ, please come outside .100 different honks irrespective of how well they are timed are terrible, please don’t use this method to spread your popularity or gauge your reach. Grow up. All such RJs should be Fined for spreading unnecessary Sound pollution.

Whenever you see a bike: Contrary to popular opinion Bike drivers do hear. Yes you see that Biker who suddenly slowed down , in-spite of you honking continuously for 5 minutes he didn’t speed up. Well that could be me. You honk at me for no reason , I do that. I will slow down. Dude inside your cars you don’t hear the horns, come outside and enjoy the sweet sound of your pressure horn that you have been blowing continuously in my ears. I would let you pass if I had the tiniest fraction of space, but if you don’t stop honking I will make sure you don’t pass. Trust me , Iwont.Many bikers wont. Even if you are on a Truck or a freaking Ferrari, I will make sure you drive @40kmph(officially the speed limit at most places). Happy safe driving 🙂

Being TOO safe: Please don’t honk whenever you pass every car, you don’t get points for that. They can view you, that’s what rear view mirrors are for. Honk only if you sense real danger, if you sense danger with every car, you probably shouldn’t be driving

And if you still miss your Honk, please load that in your ipod and listen to it when you sleep. Trust me you will wake up refreshed, you probably will not hear anything else again

Please add any more situations I might have missed.

SPREAD THE LIGHT..EDUCATE THE WORLD..SPREAD THE WORD….if you are a honker, i hope you are a convert, if you are not a honker, spread this to reach all honkers

 

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Categories
Humor Simply Random

Best Names for a Pet

Company discussion forums can be really interesting, recently after scores of baby names and movie names etc there was a discussion of Pet Names..Here are the best ones i thought i share with the world…Hats Off to people who keep this name

Jayanti Lal

Moolchand

SAILAAB —Bhaago Bhaag Sailaab aa gaya….Or Bhago Sailaaab ko Sailaab aa gaya :P(dog has to pee)

Shahenshah

DON

Mogambo

Dawg

BAKHTAWAR—-Ok i love this one

Tees Maar Khan—

WHISKY

Wou Wou–Maybe Chinese Dog 😛

scotch

 

 

So what are the wierd names you can think offf and whoch one of teh above is the best 🙂

 

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