You are on the road , chilling out, minding your own business and suddenly Hoooooonk, teed e du teed….
Read this before you honk away to glory
You turn back and you see a Car wallah honking his car horn ,nobody knows why. I do not know what sadistic pleasure people derive by Honking unnecessarily, especially the ones with pressure horns ,horns that can be heard miles and miles away.This post is dedicated to such people. A guide to not Honking or inappropriate uses of a Honk,whatever you want to call it
Here is the list
Yeah I have arrived: You just saved a hell lot of money and bought your first car/Bike and I know you are happy. Good, please be happy but for God’s sake don’t share the happiness with everyone on the road by honking. Yeaah we know your car also has a horn, a freaking horn that actually makes a sound, can you believe that? but still don’t push that Horn button. If you really do push it , think like this, there are 1000s of people who buy cars every day and many of them are more expensive than yours, many buy their second,third bikes, they buy with change in their pocket and most people around you own a car/bike already, you are late join, so basically you are not really special and if you still feel like showing Off, Go bang your head on the road
Attracting the chicks: Seriously you think so? If yes you probably will never get one and don’t even deserve one. Ohh so that lady that day looked at you when you honked, no she wasn’t appreciating your honking but actually telling her friend that you are a looser. And if you actually attract a girl by honking, I am sorry you probably paid for it
At Red Lights: Ok the next time you honk when the light is red think like this, what is the purpose of my life? Why i am I even alive?
I still don’t understand why people behind me Honk when I am merrily standing at a red light. Is the light green from where you see it? It can only happen if you are at least a couple of light years away.I always point out to wards the RED colored light when someone does that ,but I don’t get it, don’t you know RED is for stop? Please go back to school. I seriously believe if someone does that he should be forced to sit with 3rd standard students for a month and read the chapter on Traffic lights, made to draw those lights and color them with crayons. People like these will probably fail
When light turns Green: Woooow you finally saw a green light, did you realize I saw one too. Now are you so happy that you want to express your excitement with a heartfelt HONK? or do you think people in front of you slept? Noone sleeps in freaking 1.5 minutes, no no-one on steering wheel. Even if you think so, wait for a minimum 20 sec before blowing your precious Horn
When an RJ tells you to: I am appalled at some Rjs asking people to Honk according to a certain tune or at a certain times. Wooow…Ok in your comfy studios it seems like a good idea, entire city honking at once,synchronized Pom Pom but Dude RJ, please come outside .100 different honks irrespective of how well they are timed are terrible, please don’t use this method to spread your popularity or gauge your reach. Grow up. All such RJs should be Fined for spreading unnecessary Sound pollution.
Whenever you see a bike: Contrary to popular opinion Bike drivers do hear. Yes you see that Biker who suddenly slowed down , in-spite of you honking continuously for 5 minutes he didn’t speed up. Well that could be me. You honk at me for no reason , I do that. I will slow down. Dude inside your cars you don’t hear the horns, come outside and enjoy the sweet sound of your pressure horn that you have blown continuously in my ears. I would let you pass if I had the tiniest fraction of space, but if you don’t stop honking I will make sure you don’t pass. Trust me , Iwont.Many bikers wont. Even if you are on a Truck or a freaking Ferrari, I will make sure you drive @40kmph(officially the speed limit at most places). Happy safe driving 🙂
Being TOO safe: Please don’t honk whenever you pass every car, you don’t get points for that. They can view you, that’s what rear view mirrors are for. Honk only if you sense real danger, if you sense danger with every car, you probably shouldn’t be driving
Calling your friends: I am fedup of people honking to let their friends know that they are standing outside their friends house .Ok dude, use your cellphone Also do you know all standard houses are equipped with something called a Door Bell.As if this much torture was not enough ,people honk again and again with the length of honk corresponding to level of irritation of wait. Please be human
I am bored: Ok this breed is beyond me, some honk just because they are bored while waiting,on traffic lights or just like that
And if you still miss your Honk, please load that in your iPod and listen to it when you sleep. Trust me you will wake up refreshed, you probably will not hear anything else again
Please add any more situations I might have missed.
SPREAD THE LIGHT..EDUCATE THE WORLD..SPREAD THE WORD….if you are a honker, i hope you are a convert, if you are not a honker, spread this to reach all honkersI send infrequent newsletters. You can signup for them below.