8 PM Rape in gurgaon –Letter from men

Dear Gurgaon administration,
Today I have been informed that you have banned women from working beyond 8:00 PM to stop them from being raped. I write this letter in extreme delight and want to commend you on your fantastic work .
I want to thank you for clearing a lot of misconceptions we men folks have had since we were Rape in gurgaon OK after 8:00children, misconceptions that our parents taught us and misconceptions that we thought were right.
PS:This is a letter from a huge majority of men who still respect women and neither are or planned to become rapist. We are the ones who studied with women/girls in schools and colleges and work with them in offices
Here are a few

1. Women and men are Equal: . Women certainly are second class citizens who do not deserve to be protected beyond 8:00 PM. It’s ok for male criminals to roam on streets but not decent women.

2. Women should be respected: Thanks for clearing that after 8:00 its OK to be cosy with them, because they invited it.Dirt is not in men’s mind but in women’s clothes and time of the day

3.Some men are rapist: Thank you for telling us that after 8:00 every man on street is a potential rapist. Before 8:00 we are friends, colleagues,enemies of women but as the gong strikes 8 we undergo a change .

Also We want to thank you for helping our career.Since you might not be aware about the MAll culture of these times ,let me tell you that the real life starts @8PM. You need maximum manpower after 8:00 PM and since it is such a hassle to keep female employees after 8:00 in malls ,we can well be assured that manpower will remain (man)power and not have much in terms of women

Can I suggest some more reforms that will make the city even safer for women:
1. All mall owners should be required to dig a tunnel from the mall to a women employee’s house. This will make sure she is not forced to pass through a field of rapists on loose on streets.

Also these tunnels should be changed every week,to prevent any rapist(read men ) from finding the route
2. The cutoff time for women in offices should be decided by the latest time of rape committed.. Suppose a rape is committed @6:00 PM the cutoff should be revised to 6:00
3.No FIR for crime against women should be registered after the cut off time: This will make sure those BAD Ladies follow the cutoff enforcement

Also I would like to commend you for not following the lengthy methods that many scoundrels are saying are the right methods for fighting this menace such as

1. Increase security–You simply banned women, so good of you for saving the policemen from over work

2.Sensitize and educate men–When did education work anyways?

3.Ban alcohol: Many rapes are done by men under influence of alcohol, thank you for not banning alcohol and saving the livelihood of liqor mafia

4.Free self defense training to women: Poof why would you want to do that

5.Distribute pepper spray: Ohh why would you want women to injure the potential rapist? Pepper sprays are dangerous

6. Have decent streetlights in dark areas: Who would want to spend money on that

7.Push for stricter punishment for rapist: Come one rape is never committed but invited

8.Ban Men : If you can’t protect women ,some people suggest  that you should ban men on streets after 8:00. What fools they are sir, men and women are not equal as you clarified earlier

Thank you for not falling for peer pressure

Also read what twitter had to say about all this
By Madhur Chadha
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117 thoughts on “8 PM Rape in gurgaon –Letter from men

  • March 15, 2012 at 3:57 am
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    writer is probably a looser and doesnt have a mind that can think rationally. Point after 8 PM being that roads are not much crowded in the night and that makes crime easy for criminals. These are the most pathetic thoughts I have ever heard in my life.
    Why dont you form a group of men around you that can take care of crimes atleast a bit, no you wont because you like to comment and criticize every step by anyone. Go out and change the things dont just wait and criticize.
    Looser!!

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 4:18 am
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      Thank you for your comments Rahul. I respect your views on me.
      My point is simple, if darkness is the reason ,then women should be banned from working after sunset.
      Its a mindset change that is required, and that is what this blog aims to do.Bring out the voices.
      What you are doing is simply objectifying the women and defending the police.
      So are you OK with the fact that Government says that sorry we cannot protect you after 8:00PM?I believe such people do not have the right to continue with their Jobs
      If this is your solution to problem of Rape then i am sorry the way you will solve problems like corruption is stop the use of money. The way to solve crime is KILL everyone.
      I can see that you probably cannot see this side of story and see no flaw in administration’s argument because you probably think that women in someway are responsible for the rapes.Their clothes and body languages are somewhat responsible for what happens.You are OK punishing the entire women race because the people who are supposed to protect them don’t have the Balls to do so.
      Also i am sure you haven’t read the complete article where I thanked the administration for not using sensible ways to combat this .Ways that are used internationally
      Another point I wish to mention
      1.What have you done till now? Apart from commenting here?Or do you agree that this is correct
      2.How do you assume that someone who blogs does nothing?
      3.How do you assume that blogs are worthless? Do you realize every movement in current times has been fueled by social media( i would suggest you read a bit)
      4.So as per your logic we need to start a movement for every damn thing in this country?We need to start a movement to force the police to do its Job?

      But my words obviously are not enough for you , i would strongly suggest you speak with a working women who will be affected by this rule
      I anyway hold my head in shame that 10 KM from National capital our Mighty country is unable to protect our women after 8:00.Even countries like dubai are better

      Reply
      • March 15, 2012 at 4:57 pm
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        Kudos to Madhur Chandra. I think you did a great job by writing this article. And Aksha spare me if I mis-spell something.
        I am working in Pune and not a localite. Now, i would like you to know that Pune is called a Young City, that’s because more than 50% population is under 30yrs of age. And this popoulation has more than 70% migrants. Of this 70% migrant population around 35% is women population. What I’ve been observing over 2 years is that women roam on the city streets after 12 in the night (forget 8) and that too in a clothing that they want to carry. Point I’m trying to make here is that, if a girl (that too outside her hometown) can do what she wants to do (after 8 PM) is safe in one part of India (that is like 1600 kms away from the Capital) then why can’t she do work after 8pm in a city that is called London of India and is 10kms away from Capital.
        Yaar, if a guy can roam on city streets in Shorts after 8, then What the hell is this that Women should not come out of their homes. I think, there is an urgent need of change in the mindset of people. The Administration seriously has failed big time in Haryana. Time and again we hear these kind of news of rapes and harassment. Bhaiya, Openness ko badhawa do…stupid rules ko nahi. Why don’t the Govt. accepts that they are not taking appropriate steps to avoid these problems.
        And Mr. Rahul, you are such a LOOSER (read loser)….saale naam kharab kar raha hai. Get a life, open your mind and look at the overall picture. You are living in 21st century, saale itna to Raja Ram Mohan Roy bhi support karte the women ko. Gadha!!

        P.S -> I’ve found most of the RAHULs to be stupid cowards. I wonder if I am also one of them. But in this case, I want to raise my voice. Cheers!!

        Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 8:55 am
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      Rahul. No offense, but before criticizing other people, get your spellings right. What you probably want to say is “loser”, not “looser”.
      And please, at least somebody had the guts to speak up about it! I completely agree with Mr Madhur. What the hell have you done to combat this problem? Have you even THOUGHT of trying to solve it?
      Think over it. And if there are any good language classes around where you live, please make sure you attend them! Either that or buy a dictionary so that people don’t get a migraine when they read your comments.

      Reply
      • March 15, 2012 at 10:03 am
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        Thank you Ashka,
        Even I need to be a careful about my spellings :P

        I believe a huge shift in mindset is required .For once I would like to see the administration trying to address the problem rather than trying to find out how the women invite it.
        And this applies not just to administration but also our public in general.If we really want things to change ,we should NOT accept any such explanations. There should be no discussion about the state of the woman when the crime happened because that is immaterial.You cannot justify this crime based on the state of a woman.
        Hiding women behind closed doors will not cover up the incompetence of the administration

        Reply
        • March 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm
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          LOL! :D
          No, Mr Chadha, I wouldn’t have the indecency to point out mistakes in anything you write after reading your above article!
          Agreed. A change in mindset is definitely the priority right now.
          Please pardon my language, but people will give bullshit logic as long as they think they can get away with it.
          Precisely. Crime cannot be justified based on the state of a woman. And okay, I agree that some of them seem to go out of their way to invite such advances, but please. You can only lead the horse to the water. Ultimately it’s the horse’s choice to drink, if you know what I mean!
          And why should women hide? Why should we retreat behind a veil every single time something like this happens? Believe me, if it was legal, we’d bash the life out of men who try to mess with us!

          Reply
          • March 15, 2012 at 5:47 pm
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            Thank you Ashka :). Feel free to correct me, will help me improve.
            You are very right, state of a woman does not justify rape.
            If you see a man getting drunk and falling on streets ,does that mean you can steal his belongings and maybe clothes and run away with it?You still are a thief anyways.

            Doing wrong is always easy ,but it being easy does not justify doing it

            Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm
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      @rahul: Sorry buddy, but you are a loser. or say looser. How many rapes have you committed by now? Bloody loser!!! Take offense and kiss my ass, loser!!

      Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 5:43 pm
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      Rahul

      You sound like an idiot? Who the hell cares if the roads are busy or not. Rape is a disgusting crime, and you support imposing a ban on the victim? Get a life idiot. Stand up for what is right. This article has done wonders to bring the issue to a head. People from outside of India (me included) are reading about it. you need to go and do something positive rather than write stupid posts here

      Reply
      • March 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm
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        Thank you for liking the article MAX, you are right Rape is a disgusting crime and there is no justification for it.
        I sometimes feel guilty that this article probably is projecting gurgaon, a city i love, in bad light.
        But had to do this, what happened in gurgaon was not right

        Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 7:24 am
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    I think that the appropriate punishment for rapists would be to releive them of their “Units”. Anything less than this should not be acceptable.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 10:07 am
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      “Units” :P LOL,
      Yes we need stricter laws ,I heard that some countries do that,not really remove their “units” but basically make them impotent and kill their urges permanently via drugs.

      Reply
      • March 17, 2012 at 10:16 am
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        If only that worked. Rape is about power, not lust, and doesn’t always need ‘units’. It is a crime of violence, and not sex. It’s just another way of hurting, humiliating, overpowering someone. It gives the rapist a sense of control and power. That is why it is so important to target the general psyche of a society, especially men and parents of boys.

        Gang-rape is most often committed by younger , delinquent men. The link between alcohol and violence is also complex. Societies like Ireland have a serious issue with alcoholism, but not a corresponding rape rate. Alcohol acts as a disinhibitor.

        I wish the budget for policing was increased, like it needs to be – so that the force can be upgraded!

        Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm
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      I read it somewhere. Men have 2 organs (Spine and the thing) in their body which can be erect. Which of the two they want it to be, it is for them to decide

      Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 9:04 am
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    This article is absolutely right in it’s content. I am sick of educated people talking in a pedantic dialogue of practicality that the woman was wearing a mini skirt, so she she invited trouble. The audacity of the guys to pull a woman out of a car and then drive of without crossing a single check post is shameful. On the other hand, there are road blocks set up at 7 pm on delhi roads leading to traffic jams.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 9:53 am
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      Well said arjun,
      People need to realize that NOTHING warrants a rape. Rape is a disgusting and repulsive crime and no matter what the women is doing or wearing,it does not invite rape.
      Dirt is in the minds of men and not the clothes of women,you are free to not like what a girl is wearing but no more than that.
      The issue is that Gurgaon police failed miserably and is now trying to pin the blame on women

      Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 9:06 am
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    This country needs more of Kiran Bedis who care a hoot about punishing the influential and infusing fear in the minds of non law abiding citizens. Beat the hell out of men who dont respect women in public.Make them aware, educate them and if they dont learn punish them in such a way that it becomes a deterrant for prospective rapists and eve teasers.

    Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 10:36 am
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    very well said mr.madhur…i fail to understand why there are different rules for the two genders..and why women need to comply with the cliche thoughts of the society to be protected..and why it is always he fault of the women (no woman wants to be raped and no woman is inviting a rapist)..I liked it cause this is a blog written by a sensible man..makes me happy that there are sensible men who do have sense n lucid thinking….well done…kuddos

    Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 11:06 am
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    I think we are reaching out to extremes here. The way I understand this is, while the government is (supposed to be) doing its best to get hold of rapists and make our roads more secure for women; we as a society need to understand the situation and act like responsible people. There is no denying that its the responsibility of the government to provide security but there are things which we can do too. Try and understand that, criminals are out there all the time – all they need is an opportunity. A lonely girl on the road, in the dark, is an opportunity. That is a fact, we have to understand this. No one is trying to make different rules here, neither are we trying to declare women as secondary citizens. We are just trying to protect what is precious and unfortunately, under attack. We need to understand that government cannot prevent a rape, as compared to other crimes like a bomb blast, or a shoot out – you cannot put police posts to detect and catch rapists before they actually commit the crime. Only solution, although very impractical, is to put police on every road, everywhere to prevent an ongoing rape. Please be reasonable and while we as a society are working on fixing this issue, please – try to avoid lonely nights outside.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm
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      Kumar,
      I respect your views here but i still do not follow the logic.
      Every policeman has an area assigned to them, if its too much then increase force.
      if there are DARK alleys which are aplenty in gurgaon,fix the streetlights
      If they are so incapable of preventing rapes, better Ban men from ganging up after 8. Have a curfew on men after 8 not women.Let the society fix itself up then.

      Women are the victim in every instance here,first they get raped then they are told that to protect them they will no longer be allowed to work.
      Instead of empowering women we are taking away their freedom.
      The society cannot fix itself when you simply remove women from the equation. On the contrary every women outside after 8:00 will now be seen as a potential target.You are further making the lonely areas more lonely
      Also
      I do get that women should avoid lonely nights outside,precautions are a must but BANNING them? That is what is wrong with the society. We are telling them that their careers,their work is not important.What kind of messaged are we sending?

      Reply
      • March 15, 2012 at 12:26 pm
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        Banning anyone is bad. Banning women from enjoying their freedom is bad, banning innocent men from enjoying their freedom is bad. Everyone gets that! And please, do not assume that I approve of the administration trying to put the responsibility of such events back on women. All I am saying is that, training the society and changing the mind set of millions of people is a time taking process and till then we need to be cautious.

        Reply
        • March 17, 2012 at 10:27 am
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          Till when do we need to be ‘cautious’? The authorities have not yet taken any steps towards ‘changing the mindsets of millions of people’. Not a single step. I’m sure that if they at least tried to,they’d find more support.

          Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 11:19 am
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    Nothing works as much as sarcasm and you ‘ve used loads of it! Very strong piece. Really glad I stumbled upon it. I have always found Haryana/Delhi police thick and this step corroborates to my opinions. And I can’t believe some people are actually supporting this decision. Ah well, thick people, thick police. Can’t do much about it.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm
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      Thank you tulika,
      It is a sad day for a nation that cannot protect 50% of its population after 8 PM that too 10 KM from national capital

      Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 11:39 am
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    OK! How about a blog entry on “How to prevent rapes!” – that would actually be useful.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 12:09 pm
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      Educate men
      Give self defense trainings
      increase force
      distribute pepper sprays
      sensitize police
      fix broken streetlights
      have hazard alarm systems in various streets
      get more CCTV

      Reply
      • March 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm
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        Yes! this is how you solve a problem – by proposing solutions.

        However, while all of this is accomplished, avoid late nights outside. That’s a recommendation not a ban.

        Reply
        • March 15, 2012 at 1:09 pm
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          Thank you kumar for your comments.

          If it was a recommendation i would not have written this article,sadly as far as i know its a Ban. Correct me if I am wrong.

          A women cannot work in Retail outlets,Malls,Pubs after 8.
          If any employers wants any woman to stay beyond 8 they need to take prior permission from the administration. That is what is wrong,it makes hiring women employees prohibitive.

          I am all for a participative democracy and law enforcement,nothing can work if people do not try to be a part of it ,but before people do that ,the police should get the funda’s right. Somethings such as banning women are not acceptable.
          Police can sensitize local youth, train them on how to react if they see a woman in danger.
          Many people do not react because they don’t want to be take stand against hooligans, maybe they can be trained on how to get help ,how to scare away the hooligans without fighting them.
          They can spend time on training woman on how to be safe,how to identify potential problems,how to alert authorities and how to fight back if necessary
          All is accepted ,precautions are necessary because sadly the society is not mature enough.But precaution should not become detrimental to the freedom of 50% of the populatoion

          Reply
          • March 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm
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            Madhur,

            You keep saying things which the government can do and I agree! The question is, if those things would take 5 years to be in effect – whats your proposal for now? What can you suggest a women today? How is a women going to safe today!?!

            Nice discussion, I am happy that we are discussing solutions now.

            Reply
            • March 15, 2012 at 1:42 pm
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              See agreed that precautions are necessary,but BAN is unjustified and idiotic.
              To start with, sensitize police
              Get the street lights in order
              Increase police vigils
              if he police is so incapable ,get more police,get the army if they feel so incompetent
              If you want to put a ban, Ban any gathering of men after 8
              Ban liquor right away
              Women already are suffering,why ruin their careers and add insult to injury

              See if number of murders increase in Gurgaon what would you suggest? taking precautions or Ban people from coming out at night.
              I am not saying the problem is not there, i am saying that with a blanket ban Admin is reinforcing a belief that women are not That important to them.Their careers are not important.
              There have been many times when crimes have increased, such as murders and thefts but never have people been banned from working.A Ban has never been thought because men were the primary targets .And banning men from working is unthinkable.

              Anyways this BAN is never going to achieve its results, are they banning an women on road after 8:00? No

              I am no expert in women protection, but as i can clearly see the GGN admin is neither.

            • March 17, 2012 at 10:33 am
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              Why didn’t they ‘recommend’ that men not come out after 8?
              The issue here is that they haven’t said anything like “look, we’re sorry this happened. This is what we’re doing to address the issue, but until that time, we recommend XYZ.”

      • March 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm
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        Excellent Reply to the DC order. Indeed Sad state of affairs !!! Crime is a Crime, irrespective of Gender Biases. Dc being the law framer/ implementer should not have lost sight of the Fundamental law of Equality. Strengthening Law enforcement or Better Policing with punitive measures with all the measures you have put forward…is the way ahead..instead whining about dress code is a sore attitude. Looks like this is backdoor enforcement of
        Talibanism!
        some more suggestions:
        1.Create Block level cells (NGO’s or Citizens policing)to check crime.
        2.Control rooms -Women cells under senior police/ Administration officers.
        3.Check posts at vulnerable locations.
        4.Random checks & Balances of vehicles moving suspiciously -irrespective of stature of the vehicle occupants & background studies.
        Women can Do:
        Off course Ladies can travel in groups consisting families or colleagues.Bolder Ladies can in some ways prevent/strike fear by using Pepper sprays/ self defence or Bobitting Offenders (Malaysian way!)
        Thanks for the start..

        Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm
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    This article reminds me of Jonathan’s Swift’s “A modest proposal”, in case you have read it. Satire is the best way to talk about the worst of issues and I totally agree with you. The NCR regions NEEDS to be transformed, or at least, some genuine steps by the authorities have to be taken. It is so bloody absurd that a woman cannot approach a male police officer for help from 18:00 to 06:00 hours in the day, that she cannot do anything late at night because of The Fear, or has to be on-the-lookout for dangerous activity. Men have the POWER to look at any woman in ANY way they want and they know that being MEN, they can do that. I love Delhi but this aspect makes me HATE it. Delhi should learn a thing or two from Mumbai in this case, really. I’m not saying nothing at all happens there, but it doesn’t come close to the problem here. Ideologies need to be CHANGED drastically. I am extremely glad you wrote about this, and not only that, wrote it with such a subversive twist. Thank you, for expressing.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm
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      Thank you sapna,
      I haven’t read “A modest proposal” but will surely do

      Glad that many people are echoing these sentiments .
      You are right major mindset change is required .Sad to see such laws being passed in the heart of the country.
      How can we claim to be a great nation when half of the population is not safe

      Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm
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    Police is partly correct in their statement..because its impossible to educate the illiterates of gurgaon overnight, whats the harm in taking precautions.!! But totally agree with this article and the suggestions to make the city safer. Such Ban is ridiculous anyway…

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 1:15 pm
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      Precautions should not curtail freedom of 50 % of population.
      If number of murders increase ,will they ban anyone working late?
      this question never arised when men were the prime victims ,because banning men from working seems unthinkable

      Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 6:12 pm
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    SERIOUSLY?
    SIR,
    Govt. doesn’t do anything, it ignores the facts, US guys have a HUGE PROBLEM with it, and if the same govt. tries anything to control the issue, US GUYS have problem again?
    I know what govt. said about 8pm is not totally right, but at least it did something.
    I’m not a govt fan, but You critics force me to think this, YOU CRITICS NEED HELP. A PROFESSIONAL HELP.
    You seriously think, the measures you quoted will remove the rapes from society?
    I’m SPEECHLESS because of your criticism towards everything.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 6:26 pm
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      Dear akhil,
      Though you are free to disagree with me ,
      I am actually surprised at your response.
      1. You think what govt did was not right
      2.You don’t want people to criticize it?
      By not voicing our opinion don’t you think we are accepting the solution
      Please understand what position this article takes. I am against the solution proposed as it is demeaning and insulting to the women. No I cannot give admin any credit because it itself did NOTHING.Just passed a law banning women rather than controlling men.
      Its the same thing as ,”we don’t want to fight crime so everyone stay inside”. I don’t understand how criticizing that is that wrong?
      As per your logic one should not criticize anything if any action is taken,even if it makes the problem worse .
      Suppose a criminal is trying to get into my house and I lock myself in and call for help, the police comes and instead on arresting that criminal puts a lock on my door so that i cannot get out , do you feel I don’t have the right to protest?The police did take an action ,the criminal cannot reach me still.Is that the solution?

      Anyways if you are OK with the solution proposed by the government that Women are the problem here and the best way to protect them is Ban them from working and you want to give credit to the administration, you are free to do so.
      My Conscience does not allow me to do so.I am sorry to have disappointed you

      Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 6:26 pm
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    totally makes sens….next time if a woman is raped at 2 in the day, they should just ban women from setting their foot outside the house altogether..fir to ek bhi rape nahi hoga…
    let’s simply rewind the indian women’s life by a 100 years or so..

    Reply
  • March 15, 2012 at 7:04 pm
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    Without hurting your sentiments and without asking for clarification of any sought I would like to make a comment that administration has not banned but warned or suggested the women to stay inside after 8. This indeed is a genuine advice that every parents offer their girl child still in many parts of this country. Its not the govrenment but ‘I’ who should be made responsible for this and should be ashamed of. And unless you can’t get rid of ‘I’, let her stay inside after 8.

    Reply
    • March 15, 2012 at 7:12 pm
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      With due respects
      as far as i know it is a BAN.
      Any employer wishing to keep any woman beyond 8 needs to take prior permission from labor department.
      Precautions are OK but not blanket ban that too coming from people who are supposed to protect us.
      Let people and their families decide on precautions ,admin should do its duty to protect,rather than simply get rid of women.

      Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 5:47 pm
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      Even if it is an advice and not a warning – how is it justified ? I mean – with all due respect – have people here gone cuckoo ? Why don’t you advise the rapists to stay away from such shit or he will end up in a hell hole ? No, we won’t ! And sadly.

      My solution to this is plain and simple – the punishment should be pretty severe (hanged to death immediately on being found guilty, if you ask me – again, then that does set a dangerous precedent in case anyone wants to accuse someone falsely) and it should be highlighted throughout the nation so that fear is induced in these “dabang” criminals.

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 4:58 am
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    I really enjoyed reading your article…I think you’ve hit the nail on the head…the only sorrow is that its all going to be like water off a ducks back….after all with logical thinking like that how can one expect the hallowed police to even understand what you are saying….

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 6:08 am
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      Thank you arunima .
      I just hope the coming generation is sensitized a little

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 7:13 am
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    Gudgaon needs to be renamed to badgaon

    Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 7:31 am
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    I wish even the giovernment administration was educated in India.

    Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 7:52 am
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    Brilliant Article Mr. Madhur, and shame on the administration who willfully neglecting their duties by imposing such regulations. The main reason behind is the mentallity and intellectuality of such people enjoying power, i.e. being more attached to their personal interest. Their Big Question is “Mujhe Kya Milega…???”

    Police don’t register FIR because once they register it, they have to proceed with the case (Atlest for the documents sake…)

    Ministers don’t care to sound the Administration because they are happy and quite busy in looting the funds of country and having Z-Grade Security for themselves. They think they can handle the situation at election’s time.

    Without Law and Order, these Bloody criminals are open to wander around street and wihtout any hassle, finish their tasks. Take it from Chain Snatching, Passing Lewd Comments, to Rape, Murder etc.

    But, its our life and therefore, first we need to take care of ourselves (Don’t know by what time the administration will get sound on it). That’s why we need to avoid certain situation like: -

    1. Walking alone at late night on a lonely street without any defence measure (Atleast a Paper Cutter or Pepper Spray would work for the time being). One must avoid it to the extent possible.

    2. Indulging into a road rage (especially on late night while driving).

    3. Avoid High tempered quarrel with any stranger. (Either don’t start or Finish it fully).

    Rest what would happen, God Knows.. But we atlest fulfill our karmas to avoid/ prevent that kind of situations.

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 8:45 am
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      i Agree with you Gaurav,
      Sadly we all need to exercise precaution because the city roads are not safe.
      Someone is definitely not doing their job well

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 9:05 am
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    Your wise sarcasm and impeccable logic is up onhttp://www.facebook.com/SayItLoudOnOpenStage. We’re fighting similar causes and encourage you and others who believe in voicing their opinion against such oppression to keep posting. Especially when it beats the twisted sense of security of our administration hollow.

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 9:15 am
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      Thank you malvika,
      Glad to see people sharing this sentiment . Hope to see many more join their voice

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 9:45 am
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    Well written Madhur. A point well made. Now if only it reaches the relevant audience.

    My first reaction was that an administration should be laughed right out of the door for coming up with such an idea. They obviously are all at sea and haven’t a clue regarding the task at hand. Get rid of them and put them out of their misery.

    Now can we have the police trained to handle such cases in a humane manner and not off hand? We have ministers claiming rape cases to be a figment of play acting without evidence to back up anything. The least we can have is a police force which is sympathetic and cracks down hard. Now for the training of cops in such cases. It surely cannot take 5 yrs to solve that problem? The patrolling and all is dependent on numbers and may take time.

    And yes most of the lads out there need to know that a) it really is a disgusting act, b) they cannot get away with it.

    I may have rambled a bit and my apologies for that. But such ridiculous situations do leave the sane perplexed.

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm
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      Thank you Sumit for taking time to write such an eloquent response.
      You are bang on, all it requires to start with is a mentality change.
      Police needs to be sensitized, men need to be educated and the questions about how women were even remotely responsible need to be thrown out

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 11:49 am
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    Madhur, first time on your blog and it was worth. The article, as the name suggested, could not be better. If the article was a delight, the first comment was fun-spoiler. When I thought it’s one of those loser men who objectify women, I saw some more similar comments and wondered why all those who have problem with this article are men? Why all women can closely connect to this article?
    Some people talked of Pune. I’m in Pune for last 5 years and I can vouch for what has been told above about the city. I have seen girls after midnight, wearing short-skirts coming from pubs on a scooty. No one cares man, no one simply cares. They are so safe here. Why are not the same girls safe in Haryana? Not only Pune, go to Mumbai, Ahmedabad and too many other places are there. Why does NCR keep scoring on rape index? What’s wrong with men there? And who gave this government a right to even suggest that women should not come out after 8PM? Do they mean that I should not be out on the road after 8PM because there are murders and road-rages?
    Sick people! Sick government. Rightly said, you get a government you deserve!!!!

    Story in pieces

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm
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      Thank you animesh :)
      You are right,something is not quite right here. Forget US ,Gurgaon needs to take a leaf out of pune. Its the same country,same people and same culture.Then why are situations so different.
      I hope the government is listening

      Reply
      • March 20, 2012 at 7:56 am
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        This thought came to my mind while I was going through this article once again. How does this government plan to prevent rapes done by relatives inside victim’s house itself? Any idea?

        Reply
        • March 20, 2012 at 10:30 am
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          Nop, Govt is doing nothing in this regard.Who knows they might say that all women should stay away from family after 8 PM and stay in a different room/house locked up

          Reply
          • March 20, 2012 at 10:54 am
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            That’s a nice idea Madhur. Let’s send this suggestion to honourable CM of Haryana

            Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 12:32 pm
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    I believe it shows mere incomepetence of the admin to totally ban women from working after 8. However, you mildly suggested that it is okay for the govt to “Ban men from ganging up after 8 and to have a curfew on men after 8 not women” which I found very sexist.

    “Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both”. – B Franklin.

    Men and Rapist are not synonyms. It’s the same with victims and women. A person having a male genitalia won’t make him a rapist and a person with female genitalia doesn’t make her a victim.

    Just like murder, rape can happen anywhere and it is impossible to place a cop on every place, even the victim’s house for instance to prevent rape from happening.Humanity relied on the government for protection only during the recent years. We were able to take care of ourselves from animals and anti-social elements all by ourselves before the so called civilization. So what we lack here is personal responsiblity and women seldom think that they can prevent rape or can take precaution to not turn out to be victim.

    There is no freedom without responsiblity. I don’t carry much cash with me if I had to go late out at night, that’s precaution. However, even if you mildly suggest women to dress properly and not to drink too much,there’s an outrage because it affects their liberty.I wonder why do we have security cameras and guards in every bank, may be we should liberate our banks as well and write a slogan, “Tell the robbers not to rob, not the banks how to protect itself”.The bank robbers knew its wrong to rob the bank and they dont care. It’s the same with rapist. Since rape is “seemed” as a gender based crime, pushing the govt too far would only result in losing liberty all together especially for someone who would never rape a woman, like you and me.

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm
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      Hi,
      See the point is not about precautions. Yes precautions are necessary but that is again dependent on an individual and their family.
      If it was a mere suggestion from the admin, this post would be irrelevant but sadly it was not a suggestion but a very ill thought Rule that they brought into place. They simply Banned women
      Regarding banning men, that point is to highlight the gender Bias that exists in the minds of the administration.But yes , I do say that if they are so incapable , this would have been a less evil plan.
      It would have actually created more outrage because for the first time freedom of Men would be in question ,which is unprecedented.Finally the discussions hen would have been on how to stop Rapes and how to impose stricter punishments rather than what women should wear,when they should work and what time they should be home.

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm
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    Interesting take. The issue at hand here is rape, plain and simple. Instead of wasting time discussing the reasons behind it and engaging in unnecessary stereotyping, we need to fight for harsher punishment for the crime, which would deter potential criminals, to an extent. I recently wrote a humorous piece on my somewhat controversial take on the same, so feel free to drop by my blog and check it out! :)

    Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm
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    a very well put piece of hard hitting sarcasm…now we can only hope that some of the lawmakers will actually understand it!i don’t know what to expect when our parliament itself is a safe heaven for people with cases pending in courts against them!
    coming back to the issue of “protecting” women from rapes..or should i say…from their own careless invitations for the same, what explanation does the administration has to the countless rape cases in villages where women are covered from head to toe?..and a majority of them don’t even come out and lodge a complaint, thanks to the same mindset. Ofcourse the woman herself would’ve done something to lure the innocent accused!She undergoes a social death while the rapist roams around like what he did was his fundamental right.
    And when we talk about educating men…it starts at home..you can’t preach such values in schools and colleges..that is something a man inculcates by observing people he looks upto at home and around him. If he respects his mother and sister at home, he will never disrespect a woman outside as well.
    also, the need of the hour is more stringent laws and punishments, and not excuses on behalf of the criminals…atleast thats the idea such irresponsible statements by the administration convey.

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm
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      Thank you anu,
      Your usage of the words “own careless invitations for the same” clearly depicts the mentality of people in power.
      This is exactly the mentality we need to fight. Your examples are impeccable .
      Dirt is in the mind and not in the clothes and behavior

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 4:19 pm
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    Good one! as in for a country that’s supposed to be one of the top contenders for becoming a super power soon…we still have some people who haven’t really moved beyond their dark ages mentality.

    Reply
    • March 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm
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      you are right, how can we become a superpower when 50% of the population has to suffer

      Reply
  • March 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm
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    Police, government & law are very “laachar”. i live in gurgaon ( cyber/crime city) & i noticed that police is not strict, government come vid stupid rules ( women will not work after 8 pm. why just bcoz they are women & haryana govt cant protect them.) finally our law, “challan” should be very high, we have IAS, IPS & many intelligent minds to take some strict actions
    see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97lUq8kDaoI & maild d link to dcp gurgaon.
    bottomline is We young people of india can change the mindset.

    thanks alot to all persons who give their time to write on this blog & reading this.

    Reply
  • March 17, 2012 at 2:36 am
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    well.i never saw such law enforced in my country.but in place like india where the no. Of rapists exceeds total population in my country,ur gov. Has got this crap idea 2 control rape case.but. like others indians who knows more 2 talk rather than work,u r 2 complaining a problem.u cud hav ewritten a letter 2 suggest 2 ways 2 check and redure rape cases like installing cameras on streets likely 2 have more chance of such cases. A problem is already there and instead of thinking on the solution u r mentioning more prblms.that’s what is wrong wid our attitude.

    Reply
    • March 17, 2012 at 3:56 am
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      Hi Om,
      I think you did not read the complete article.At the end of the article a complete list of possible solutions is given including CCTVs
      If your vocabulary is not strong ,let me tell you that CCTV is a Camera.
      I suggest you please read it
      Another point:
      As per you it is wrong to criticize?
      I do not think so, until you protest nothing changes.A pen is mightier than the sword.It is this very medium(social media) that has given birth to various revolutions
      I suggest you read about Jan lokpal and also Egypt revolution
      And if you reached till this part of the comment
      Please understand this article was a satire and no ,it did not mention new problems but exposed the callousness and sheer stupidity of the law.
      In My Country if people don’t like something they protest, in your country too it should be the case(whatever it may be) ,sadly you might not be aware of it.I can get you information on that.

      PS:Last heard, because of so much protest on streets and in online world, the administration was forced to repeal this

      Reply
  • March 17, 2012 at 4:31 am
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    The article is well written with lot of sarcasm put into it. But are these crimes happening only in NCR. No these crimes happen in different places of India and this is a serious issue as the numbers are increasing. I will only add that precautions and preventive measures will help in putting curb to these crimes. The policing is not effective and definitely of no use as these crimes still happen in Delhi which boasts of very good and effective police. Most of the crimes are committed under influence of alcohol and night, so what is the harm in avoiding these two things. To add this pub culture and show of skin culture is a catalyst to these crimes. So I would say its good to follow the guidelines and the prevent yourself .

    Reply
    • March 19, 2012 at 12:00 pm
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      Guidelines and precautions are OK, its an individual choice but The admin has no right to BAN women.
      That is my take on it.

      Reply
  • March 17, 2012 at 12:37 pm
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    i think its nt good to pose these kind of ban…first u shud undrstand its INDIA nt west here evn men are nt safe after 8 pm nd u talking about girl….men also get killed beaten in night….if u said girl n boy are equal thhan why girls claim extra respect nd care…in today context both gender are equal so ultimatly evveryone hv to take care of themself by choose wht is gud for u if u cming late frm a pub whr u drunk nd fucked by sm1 wid ur choosen multiple patner than hw cn u claim protection in night who wil give u that…if u nt responsible…..girls clain dat they r innocent nd weak cnt help out themself than they wrong…. v

    Reply
    • March 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm
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      WHAT?
      So India is so lawless that NOONE should come out of their houses?
      And If a girl is DRUNK its OK to rape her?
      Do you know what happened in gurgaon?

      I am terribly saddened by your comment sir, terribly.

      Reply
  • March 17, 2012 at 7:00 pm
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    I couldn’t agree more. Even I wrote something similar (of course not even a patch on this) on my blog.
    As for someone who said it gets dark and crowded after 8 pm in the comments..
    Goodmorning :) Ever heard of something called a streetlight and a police patrol vehicle? And like sir has pointed out, EDUCATION?
    And trust me, A girl’s short skirt has nothing to do with you. If you’re going to ask a girl to cover up..you’d rather clean your dirty mind first.
    You cant treat women like defenseless objects cut out for satisfying your sexual urges by night and mothers, daughters, sisters ,and above everything else, equals by daylight.
    This is a sad sad day.

    Reply
    • March 19, 2012 at 11:58 am
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      Thank you for your comments. You are very right that the dirt is in the mind not the clothes

      Reply
  • March 18, 2012 at 7:02 am
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    I think castration of rapists, the moment they are identified, would be a good deterrent to this vice.

    Reply
  • March 19, 2012 at 10:21 am
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    thegirlnextgalaxy: Well certainly your short skirt has nothing to do with mens dirty mind if it were not waxed. But since you get your legs waxed cause you cant look beautiful with your hairy legs and wont get any attention from men so thats totally hypocrite of you to say that your short skirt has nothing to do with the rapists and all.

    as per the other Rahul from pune: looks like you have more census records than census board of India you generalised it very well 70% outsideer of which 35% women will that leave the number of girls to 10 or 15 and with the number of brothels and calls girls in Pune surely there is no doubt that there are woman roaming at midnight I hope you and your mother are not among them

    Reply
    • March 19, 2012 at 11:55 am
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      So Hippoanonymous
      You want to say that if a girl Waxes her legs you are free to rape her?
      That is exactly the type of sick mentality that this blog targeted.

      And i am a little surprised that out of 100s of comments you choose to pick on Rahul from pune?
      Are you sure you are not someone else who already commented?
      And i would suggest you reveal your true identity rather than making anon comments. If you do not have the Guts to stand by your statements ,i guess there must be something wrong with you.
      You are free to disagree with people, but have the Guts to stand by your comments. Hiding behind Anon accounts is the most Cowardice thing you can do.

      Reply
    • March 20, 2012 at 10:50 am
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      Whats wrong with you? Why are you taking it so personal that you have to talk about someone’s mother and sisters? Are you in your senses?

      Reply
  • March 19, 2012 at 5:35 pm
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    When we have people having such a sick mentality and questioning a right person’s (rahul from pune) character and even drooping so low of making cheap comments at some one’s mother, then how can women feel safe. It is bcse of such people that women are not safe, what ever the time and place be. Rightly said, castration or amputation of hand/legs is a good solution.

    Reply
    • March 20, 2012 at 10:32 am
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      Thank you,While everyone has the right to his/her opinion.It is very shameful when people start using derogatory language .
      You are right, this comment was the perfect example of how mentality needs to change.

      Reply
  • March 20, 2012 at 10:14 pm
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    Hey Madhur, that was a wonderful take on this ruling :)

    … By the way, I am working on a certain solution on the issue of atrocities towards women on the streets etc. and need more valid inputs from everyone. I have a small survey in the link below which is currently filled by only around 50 respondents. Would appreciate if you could help spread the word, to help me get more validations and suggestions for the same. Thanks in advance:
    http://bit.ly/GBxdHk

    Reply
    • March 25, 2012 at 5:07 pm
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      i would suggest you try facebook , it helps spread out the responses faster

      Reply
  • March 22, 2012 at 9:29 am
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    Hatts off to you Mr Chadha,
    You started the blog by accepting the decision of the govt. just to make your opinion stronger…..the brilliant way to make others understand…I wish if some Bureucrate or some politician read this blog and convey this message to the right person…. You put some brilliant ideas to handle the sitution. It took tons of years to change the mentality of the Common Indian familiy who now feels that their wife, sister, mother, daughter or a friend is safe outside their home….started educating them,,,trusting on them….sending them outside their hometown,,, but if such kind of bullshit laws will be imposed in the one part of the city or I can say in heart of the city where maximum employees are outsiders and came from small small towns…I am worried what kind of message ‘the men with power’ want to convey to their families. I am worried for my sister for my friend who is working their and away from me….how long I have to live with such fear that she still requires more security..Girls also have all rights to live their life as they like they want to….
    This decision is just a start of putting India again think 100 years back…and I wish if your blog make some revolution against this…
    Liking this page in facebook so that some social workers or politician friends of mine can help us to reach this message to the right person ‘for now’… but for rest its our mentality(using ‘our’ because we are somewhere, somehow part of this thinking) which needs to be changed…we must have collegues or friends with us who have dirty mind for such thing..that is we who should not appreciate their act and make them understand or I should say literate too…
    Girls, you need to come upfront.. take care of yourself and please follow few suggestion given by Mr. Chadha…
    Once again Thanks…

    Reply
    • March 25, 2012 at 5:06 pm
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      Thank you so much Pankaj :)
      You are right, we also are partly responsible because in the end we are also a part of the same society.But the time has come to let them know that while the society has moved forward the men in power have not.They are still living in the past.
      I hope they understand that this time we will not take any excuses for their inability and inefficiency to protect 50% of the population

      Reply
  • March 23, 2012 at 5:54 am
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    Well written.. Although I have doubts whether the makers of this law would have the mental capacity to comprehend sarcasm

    Reply
  • April 2, 2012 at 4:02 pm
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    Is it just me or does the ban almost tinker with a fundamental right??? Throughout our school days we have been learning about equality regarding any issue, be it caste, sex, whatever! If I was a social studies teacher, I would resign! I know “they” are going to tell us “itsh for the saphtey(safety) of the womens(women)”! Why in the first place is it unsafe? It isn’t talking much about the systems which are in place to control these kind of social evils! Only wish the so called authorities would TRY to ensure people a better standard of living and not restrict our freedom to suit their laziness and the total disregard of their duties!
    On a totally different note, a few years ago an 18 year old committed suicide because he crashed into an ex-PM’s(deve gowda) car in bangalore! His “followers” went to his house (before he ended his life) and took 10000 rupees to fix their leader’s car! They threatened the family sayin they will never be let to live peacefully ever again! The boy went into his room and put an end to his life! Like out of a movie, they boy was taken to DEVE GOWDA hospital (oh the irony), where he was declared brought dead!
    All this at a time when we have 3 cops for the self proclaimed VIPs and 1 cop for every 700+ citizens! Have we lost our sense of priority?

    Reply
    • April 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm
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      You are very right, it does seem to tinker with a person’s fundamental right.
      I Do not understand what were they thinking

      Reply
  • April 7, 2012 at 10:43 am
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    This is an amazing article .. and very hard hitting .. reading every one’s comments here makes me glad that there are so many men who have come out in support of retracting the ban. It is really a very regressive step that the government has taken .. it has shifted all the onus of the crime on the victim which i dont understand but on the other hand i do agree that precautions are needed … however i am very very glad i dont stay in delhi or its vicinity ..

    Reply
  • April 11, 2012 at 11:12 am
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    You are not being a ‘real man’ by saying all these things about giving equal rights to women. I mean, hote kaun ho tum? You are putting all those lechers and rapists to shame. Why should they be shameful? Jaantey nahi kis baap key bete hain woh? Sadak unke baap ki, sadak par koi ladki unkey baap..err unki. Batao kahan kahan sey aa jaatey hain tum jaisey, aurato key haq key liye ladney ko ;)

    Reply
  • May 18, 2012 at 4:38 am
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    Excellent work Madhur……I debate a lot about this with so called civilized and educated men and always end up frustrated…..This society needs a big change and when I say this,I am not talking about some LAFANGA in my society,i mean evrybody has to understand this,right from my own brothers,fathers,uncles and of course the darling mummies and aunties who think that any girl who goes out after 8 pm has some loose character….Imagine the next time our lady president visits gurgaon,we better tell her to be back home by 8 pm….!:)

    Reply
    • June 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm
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      That’s the sad part, we have a women president and this is the state of women in India
      Yes a huge change in mentality is required

      Reply
  • July 7, 2012 at 2:54 pm
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    Hi madhur…good work…

    I am from metro city other than gurgaon… I am very afraid of coming to gurgaon for job ( as i got placement in gurgaon)..right now i am single but one day i will be having family….many of my friends avoid to attain that company interview just because that company is in gurgaon…
    I dont know what the police men doing there…they must be strict…and I think they are not strict… may be because the criminals having political links… but yar… in any how condition peoples, women, citizen safety comes first all the time at all the places… goverment should do for it….. its all in there hand..in my opinion..I (we) must depend on goverment for our safety…as we are the citizen of india..we pay the tax..they must punish the criminals and rapist ….

    Reply
    • July 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm
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      You are right Rahul ,
      Police certainly has failed us to some extent,but again its our duty to raise our voices .Hope things change in the near future
      Gurgaon as a city is very close to my heart as i have studied there for 4 years,things like this pained me

      Reply
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  • November 22, 2012 at 11:29 am
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    great wok madhurchada …. i really apreciate ur work :)
    but unfotunately , dis govt can only blame the females but can not dare to give harsh punishments to any rapists ,… so dat other rapists will actually be scared of the law.
    i really hope dat one day females wud move freely with no man having guts 2 say nything to her..

    Reply
    • November 22, 2012 at 1:36 pm
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      Thanks Vishakha..Yes i agree that stricter punishments are necessary ..and the govt cannot shrug off the blame.

      I hope your wish comes true.

      Reply
  • December 4, 2012 at 2:11 am
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    Thank you for writing down what I and a lot of Indian youth feels about this. Hats-off!

    Reply
  • October 10, 2013 at 7:15 am
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    The difference in population of Pune and that in Gurgaon is simply education. You know Pune is the education capital for many years now whereas Gurgaon is yet to see the light of the day.

    Reply
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