WHEN NOT TO HONK– A DUMMIES GUIDE

You are on the road , chilling out, minding your own business and suddenly Hoooooonk, teed e du teed….

Blowing your own horn
Read this before you honk away to glory

You turn back and you see a Car wallah honking his car horn ,no body knows why. I do not know what sadistic pleasure people derive by Honking unnecessarily, especially the ones with pressure horns This post is dedicated to such people. A guide to know when you should not Honk or inappropriate uses of a Honk.

Here is the list

Yeah I have arrived: You just saved a hell lot of money and bought your first car/Bike and I know you are happy. Good, please be happy but for God’s sake don’t share the happiness with everyone on the road by honking. Yeaah we know your car also has a horn, a freaking horn that actually makes a sound, can you believe that? but still don’t push that Horn button. If you really do push it , think like this, there are 1000s of people who buy cars every day and many of them are more expensive  than yours, many buy their second,third bikes, they buy with change in their pocket and most people around you own a car/bike already, you are late join, so basically you are not really special and if you still feel like showing Off, Go bang your head on the road

Attracting the chicks: Seriously you think so? If yes you probably will never get one and don’t even deserve one. Ohh so that lady that day looked at you when you honked, no she wasn’t appreciating your honking but actually telling her friend that you are a looser. And if you actually attract a girl by honking, I am sorry you probably paid for it

At Red Lights: Ok the next time you honk when the light is red think like this, what is the purpose of my life? Why i am I even alive?

I still don’t understand why people behind me Honk when I am merrily standing at a red light. Is the light green from where you see it? It can only happen if you are at least a couple of light years away.I always point out to wards the RED colored light when someone does that ,but I don’t get it, don’t you know RED is for stop? Please go back to school. I seriously believe if someone does that he should be forced to sit with 3rd standard students for a month and read the chapter on Traffic lights, made to draw those lights and color them with crayons. People like these will probably fail

When light turns Green: Woooow you finally saw a green light, did you realize I saw one too. Now are you so happy that you want to express your excitement with a heartfelt HONK? or do you think people in front of you slept? Noone sleeps in freaking 1.5 minutes, no no-one on steering wheel. Even if you think so, wait for a minimum 20 sec before blowing your precious Horn

When an RJ tells you to: I am appalled at some Rjs asking people to Honk according to a certain tune or at a certain times. Wooow…Ok in your comfy studios it seems like a good idea, entire city honking at once,synchronized Pom Pom but Dude RJ, please come outside .100 different honks irrespective of how well they are timed are terrible, please don’t use this method to spread your popularity or gauge your reach. Grow up. All such RJs should be Fined for spreading unnecessary Sound pollution.

Whenever you see a bike: Contrary to popular opinion Bike drivers do hear. Yes you see that Biker who suddenly slowed down , in-spite of you honking continuously for 5 minutes he didn’t speed up. Well that could be me. You honk at me for no reason , I do that. I will slow down. Dude inside your cars you don’t hear the horns, come outside and enjoy the sweet sound of your pressure horn that you have been blowing continuously in my ears. I would let you pass if I had the tiniest fraction of space, but if you don’t stop honking I will make sure you don’t pass. Trust me , Iwont.Many bikers wont. Even if you are on a Truck or a freaking Ferrari, I will make sure you drive @40kmph(officially the speed limit at most places). Happy safe driving 🙂

Being TOO safe: Please don’t honk whenever you pass every car, you don’t get points for that. They can view you, that’s what rear view mirrors are for. Honk only if you sense real danger, if you sense danger with every car, you probably shouldn’t be driving

And if you still miss your Honk, please load that in your ipod and listen to it when you sleep. Trust me you will wake up refreshed, you probably will not hear anything else again

Please add any more situations I might have missed.

SPREAD THE LIGHT..EDUCATE THE WORLD..SPREAD THE WORD….if you are a honker, i hope you are a convert, if you are not a honker, spread this to reach all honkers

 

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Comments

13 responses to “WHEN NOT TO HONK– A DUMMIES GUIDE”

  1. FP Avatar

    Loved your post.. This unnecessary honking is so prevalent in India.. OMG… but LMAO for your post..!

    1. madhurchadha Avatar

      Hehehe…thanks
      I wish the honkers read this

  2. Rishi B Avatar

    I honk for this post!!!

    HONK!! HONK!! HONKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!

    1. madhurchadha Avatar

      Hahah :P…I hope you are not on the road 😛

  3. Chintan Avatar

    😀 hihihihihihihihiihiii Such fun post 😀
    I loved the lady bit 😀 *Attracting the chicks:*

    http://chintangupta.blogspot.com
    http://24x7clicks.blogspot.com

    1. madhurchadha Avatar

      :D…Thanks a looot Chintan 🙂
      I loved that part too 🙂

  4. Denny Avatar
    Denny

    I wait no more than a few seconds to honk at someone in front of me at a green light. Driving a car is the primary responsibility, not changing a CD or sending a text. When driving your responsibility is to watch where you are going and the traffic around you and watch the traffic lights. If a woman is running late and trying to do her make-up at a stop light and the light turns green I’m going to honk after a few seconds. It’s not everyone else’s fault that she’s running late and everyone else has places they want to go too. Some traffic lights also cycle very quickly. I don’t want to sit at a light an extra cycle because the idiot in front of me isn’t paying attention when the light turns green.

    When I’m on the road I’m paying attention and simply driving. The most you will find me doing is tuning the radio, which is simple to do without looking while sitting at a traffic light. When I’m in the front of the traffic line at a light I simply keep looking ahead and watching the light waiting for it to turn green so I can accelerate the moment it does. That’s where my main focus should be plus it’s courteous to other drivers behind me who have places to also and may be running right on time or even late.

    1. sunder Avatar
      sunder

      Denny, i guess you havent been to india..ppl start honking even if there is no place to move…forget few secs, people start honking a few secs before light turns green(we have timers here to see how much time is left)

  5. tegjran Avatar
    tegjran

    sorry to say dude..but on many aspects your absolutely wrong.

    1. Madhurchadha Avatar

      Don’t Be sorry sir,
      On the contrary would love to hear your views on which aspects i was wrong 🙂

  6. tegjran Avatar
    tegjran

    sorry to say dude..but on many aspects your absolutely wrong.

    1. Madhurchadha Avatar

      Don’t Be sorry sir,
      On the contrary would love to hear your views on which aspects i was wrong 🙂

    2. madhurchadha Avatar

      On the contrary would love to hear your views on which aspects i was wrong 🙂

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