My problem with culture

Warning: If you are one of those  people who is too sentimental about culture and heritage, I advice you don’t read further

Ok ,so we all take pride in our culture and heritage ,nothing wrong with that.Obviously what our ancestors did is something we do cherish and follow.Cultures evolve ,people change and so do Culture of indiatraditions.

Let us look at how traditions and cultures are made: Whatever rituals we do for various reasons are passed on from generation to generation,slowly the reason is forgotten but the ritual continues and becomes part of our culture.

Many centuries later,people try to find the reasons behind those customs,research is done ,groups and cults are formed and many theories suggested.

Some people change with times,some try to stick to age-old customs and traditions .We may sometimes call them backwards or in some dialects conservatives.

I don’t have any problem with any of these, my problem begins when we sometimes try to find meaning in every tradition that we follow.We try to godify(if that’s a real word) our ancestors and believe that everything they did had some mystical reason

Take for example,Mayan calendar .It ends in 2012 and we decided to deduce that it marks the end of world. How can Mayans be wrong? Eh

What if they just ran out of space to make a calendar? What if they just lacked forward thinkingMayan Calander similar to what happened during Y2k .

Y2k surfaced just because when computers were designed they did not have enough digits to store the full year .It stores 1934 as 34.Did that mean the designers implied that 2000 would be end of the world? NO. It just meant that they did not have forward thinking.

No I don’t mean to say that every thing our ancestors did was moronic ,what I am saying is that some of it could be or rather should be.

Surely our ancestors did have some morons within them , how else can you explain so many morons in the current world?

Surely those moronic ancestors did some stupid stuff that caught on and is now a part of our culture? We no longer understand the meaning behind that tradition so assume it to be mystical .Maybe there was no meaning

If you still don’t get me,get this.

We will be ancestors of our coming generations (assuming we don’t kill ourselves with the third world war),every popular thing we do can become tradition and part of culture ,even stupid things.

I shudder at the thought that someday researchers will research why we did “Planking” or “Owling”.

This could be a tradition your children might follow

Maybe it will become a family tradition to Plank on every 1st december,maybe some cults might be formed who will believe that planking can give them superpowers. Who knows?

If you are wondering what planking is,

Planking (or the Lying Down Game) is an activity consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. Both hands must touch the sides of the body and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the Internet is an integral part of the game.Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play. The term planking refers to mimicking a wooden plank. Rigidity of the body must be maintained to constitute good planking.


Now do you see? This could be considered mystical

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Inspirations Reflections

Growing Down



Have you ever watched a kid play? Who hasn’t.

Always active,happy,smiling running ,easily distracted and doing something new every day and every second.

They keep on doing different uncanny things that might amuse,irritate or anger people around them.

But they don’t stop,if they have to try they have to try. If they want to put your phone in their milk they will,they want to touch all they keys on your keyboard they will,they want to run around in circles they will.

They like experimenting,they do what makes them happy and not because they might be good at it or become good at it.

Then ,they grow up. At every step society teaches them one thing “Focus”. Focus on what you are good at,focus on what you could be good at,focus on one thing.

Now they do things to be good at it rather than because it makes them happy. Well nothing wrong in it, that’s how you become successful in the society.

SO many things to do
The worlds beautiful ,don' stop yourself. Be a kid ,Grow down

But the question I have is: “why do we suddenly start to feel the need to focus when we grow up?”. Why can Kids be Kids and adults need to focus?.When we look at mother nature ,we are still kids. We still need to learn so why this sudden urge to leave everything else and focus on some.

Yes focus is important, but then why focus on one ,why can’t  focus be on all?

When a person is good at one thing we call him successful or smart but if he/she is good at many ,we get the likes of Da vinci and Michelangelo.

So why do we ask people to focus on one thing,why cant we bring about a change where it will be expected for people to focus  on many?.

If a kid can be expected to learn to walk and identify shapes and colors why are the expectations so low when we grow up?

Why can’t we be more like kids? Looking out of the glass window and running after every pretty butterfly we see , once in a while?

Be the guy/gal with finger in every pie,do everything you want to do once in a while. Stop focussing on just one thing,you may be missing out on soo much fun and experiences by not doing other things.

Don’t tell me you don’t want to sing when you see a great singer,your feets don’t tap when you see someone dancing,you don’t get the urge/wish to paint once in a while or you don’t feel the need to capture the beautiful scenery in your camera.You may not be good at them,you may suck badly in them,you may be the worst singer ,dancer, poet ever to have existed or will exist but..think like a child,would you have given up? Would you not have at least tried? just for the heck of it,just to see how it feels. So go ahead try.

If you are good at your question would be what else are you good at? Do people really like being good at only one thing or doing only one thing?

Thats not natural,absolutely not. Look at Kids..can they be made to do only one thing?

So here is the time to grow down a little,think like a kid. Do something more,even if society tells you you cant be good at everything …whats the harm in trying?

Do what makes you happy once in a while!! Be a Kid


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Hoop Dancer

The night and day have long long parted
the party has just started

so here is my turn to climb the hoop
the music is playing In a loop

there is that girl dancing with her guy
don’t know if by the end will he stay

I stay here up hung by the peg
my dance steps hands head and then leg

now here comes the time for rotation
I extend my hands and every guy jumps in celebration

they raise their hands to touch
don’t understand wats the fun as such

its been a while since I danced below
from up above it seems so hollow

the place is called the kitty’s pride
it’s just a let out for animal side

don’t know if they are happy as hell
is it really how people gel

Its been a while, I’ll not know
I don’t think ,my love, this way I will show


hoop dancer
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Managing Teams in NGOs–what doesn’t work..My Take




Had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine over team and people management in NGOs/ voluntary  organizations . NGO is a basically a non government non profit making organization,dedicated to a social cause and majorly supported by volunteers.

Me with kids at Shri Gurusankalpam
Me with kids at Shri Gurusankalpam ,parent association for mentally challenged

We have been working with various volunteers for organizations like Lead India 2020 ,Vande mataram youth front etc for past 5 years and one thing we have learned is that everything we learn about team skills,team management and people management breaks down in a voluntary organization.

Its much harder to sustain a voluntary organization  than a business. Yes it seems counter intuitive because when we say NGO,it brings out an image of volunteers working tirelessly to uplift the society,people working for satisfaction rather than money.

Well nothing wrong in that imagery,most part of it is right but then why it is so hard to sustain an NGO,why don’t voluntary organizations work with the same level of maturity and professionalism as many corporates do.

Well here is my Take on it

Lets forget NGOs and voluntary organizations for a moment

Why do people work the way they work? What drives them to work better and harder

a. Money: Only objective is to sustain. Eat Live Die. Better work=better money

b. Ambition: Have a goal in life ,want to reach somewhere someplace pretty soon. Could be power,prestige ,respect or anything else

c.Work ethic:/Conscience: Yes you smiling people,many people still have it,actually most people have it to varying degrees. There is a level/quality of work you expect from yourself and if you don’t do it you feel guilty. Its that irritating voice which asks you to correct that small little HTML,correct that simple image on your site,keep your record books organized.

d. Need for appreciation: This is closely related to point c and d. We all like to be appreciated for our work .

Most people have one or many of these drives

Now the strongest of these forces is Work ethic and conscience,something that tells you what is the minimum you would expect from yourself. This is exactly the factor that prevents NGOs from achieving what they can and what NGOs need to research more on.

When volunteers work for an NGO all of them work with good intentions, a need to do something good and satisfy their conscience . I do not doubt their intentions,what i believe happens is that their level/minimum self expectation suddenly becomes LOW in a an NGO. Anything that they do is extra work and this satisfies their conscience very very early on.

I call this Short Changed Conscience


Since it is a voluntary work,it was never expected of them  and hence anything they do directly adds to their conscience as good work,thus making them feel good about whatever they do even if it is shoddy work from their professional standards.

I may receive brick bats for saying this but most NGOs stand on the half hearted works of many volunteers. and half hearted work ,irrespective of intentions can never match the professionalism.

Now dont get me wrong here,i am not writing this paper because i am frustrated with anyone, I am trying to find out what goes wrong. It is these volunteers only who make things work,it is these volunteers who keep the wheel of development turning,but my point is that this wheel can turn faster.


If you need to create a website for your business,or maybe your client you will spend considerable amount of time to find the best possible technology,best possible interface,you will take feedback and implement it . But what if you are building for an NGO, you will still make the website,but you may not be willing to consider changes based on feedback,you may not research too much and most importantly you may not polish all the edges.

Is that true or is it just me?????


Yes there are exceptions to this,people who take this work more seriously then their professional work also,these are the people who form the nucleus of any voluntary organization,hats off to them. But their percentage is relatively low

Before you guys tell me how dare i question the pure intentions of volunteers who spend their time with NGOs helping them ,let me clarify,I do not question that,I Respect people who want to and do spend time,this paper is to identify areas where we go wrong,why most voluntary teams don’t work the way they should/could and maybe identify what can be done to improve them.


Here are some suggestions:

1. Defined structure: Have a clear structure and role division like any corporate team with clear objectives and responsibilities. More you bring people in that zone,better results you may get

2.No Reliance on the nucleus: Generally the nucleus of the group or you may say the most dedicated person drives everything. He/she handles all activities. This definitely needs to stop. Have clear cut owners of every activity and try and stop this nucleus from working everywhere. The reason is simple ,the nucleus is a GEM but if he/she handels everything you loose the chance of creating more nuclei. Every team should have a nuclei .

Try this in one important activity or a movement of your organization,do not involve your best volunteers. Yes explain them the reasoning,its important

3. Implicit feedback mechanism: Irrespective of what work a person is doing, how dedicated he/she is to the cause or even how old a member he/she is have a compulsory feedback system. the moment people know that their work will be commented upon their productivity goes us. The Work ethic of their corporate work kicks in and standars improve. I would suggest always have 1 compulsory improvement point for every every feedback.

4. View volunteers as leaders and not as temporary workers: No explanation required,try doing that and see the result


So this was my take on teams in Voluntary organizations,…if you have any comments/suggestions/criticisms please do enlighten me.

Am i seeing the way things are or is it just me 🙂





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Inspirations Reflections

Types of optimistic People

I was thinking a lot on optimism lately and was intrigued by the classification of optimism. What is exactly optimism and can it be classified?
So given below is a small list of classifications of optimistic types …..
DO you think you are optimistic? if yes which is your type

1.I hope tomorrow is good
2.I believe tommorow will be good
3.Tomorrow will be good
4.Tommorow has to be Good
5. I will make sure tomorrow is good

And their interpretation
1 .I hope tomorrow is good type

Are you sure you are an optimist? Is there a pessimist hiding under the blanket of optimist. It seems you believe tomorrow will be bleak but you hope it is not

2. I believe tommorow will be good

Yeah,there you are. Yes beliefs can change everything.The power of thought is the strongest power in the universe.

But check,is that your true belief or a forced one. Are you like “I hope tomorrow is good type” and just trying to be optimistic?

Whatever be the case,stick to your beleif because more you beleive more real it becomes.

God bless you
3.Tomorrow will be good

Now that’s an attitude. You know it,you just know it. You don’t need to put your belief ,your hope into it,you just know it and you know what ? you may be right.

But that shoud not stop you from trying,dont leave everything to fate,keep giving it your best shot,and whatever comes up will be good.
4.Tomorrow has to be Good

Ok hold on. Why tomorrow has to be good? Because today is worst or because you gave your best shot or fate Owes you a favor? If you depend on Fate or today’s conditions then you are not an optimist. You are a pessimist,but if you are giving it all you have to make a better tomorrow then you are my hero :).Because then you are challenging your fate. Do whatever you want,I decide my tomorrow and I have decided  its good. I will be happy when i choose to be happy,i will be sad when i choose to be sad. People like you change the world.If you are one of these do leave your comments below and maybe send a message ;),ill get your autographs before you become too famous to read blogs like this
5. I will make sure tommorow is good

Now this is tricky,you could be type 1 with hope or you could be someone who has crossed type 4. Someone who has tested the waters and knows that fate is only one factor or happiness and not the deciding factor.

Most probably you could be someone who has not seen too much of upheavals in life either because of fate or either because of your strong belief in yourself,either ways you are good.Never Ever leave this attitude

So guys a question for you. Whats your type?

Leave your responses below

PS: If anyones interested in my type,I beleive I am somewhat between 4 and 5

Note: The entire article is based on my personal experiences and are my personal beleifs ,it may or may not be correct so please do not be too harsh in judging 😉

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[Old]Featured Poetry Reflections Shayri

Nostalgia ..The Complete Orignal Poem(Hindi) full text

raah dekhi thi is din ki kabse
aage ke sapne saja rakhe the naajane kab se
bade utavle the yahaan se jaane ko
zindagi ka agla padaav paane ko
par naa jane kyon ..dil mein aaj kuch aur aata hai
waqt ko rokne ka jee chahta hai
jin baton ko lekar rote the
aaj un par hansi aati hai
na jaane kyon aaj un palon ki yaad bahut aati hai

kaha kart tha ..badi mushkil se chaar saal seh gaya
par aaj kyon lagta hai ki kuch peeche reh gaya

kahi ankahi hazaaron batein reh gayi
na bhoolne wali kuch yaadein reh gayi

meri taang ab kaun kheencha karega
sirf mera sir khane kaun mera peecha karega

jahaan 2000 ka hisaab nahin wahaan 2 rupay ke liye kaun ladega
kaun raat bhar saath jag kar padega

KAUN MERA lunch mujse pooche bina khayega
kaun mere naye naye naam banayega

mein ab bina matlab kis se ladoonga
bina topic ke kisse faalto baat karoonga

kaun fail hone par dilasa dilayega
kaun galti se number aane par gaaliyaan sunayega

greenwood mein slice kis ke saath piyoonga
wo haseen pal ab kis ke saath jiyoonga

aise dost kahaan milenge
jo khai mein bhi dhakka de aayein
par fir tumhein bachane khud bhi kood jayein

meri ghazlon se pareshaan kaun hoga
kabhi muje kisi ladki se baat karte dekh hairaan kaun hoga

kaun kahega chadhe tere joke pe hansi nahin aai
kaun peeche se bula ke kahega..aage dekh bhai

carrom mein kiske saath kheloonga
kis ke saath boring lectures jheloonga

professors ke PJ par RAKSHAS ki tarah kaun hansega
“pugai mein haarne wale ki treat” chakkar mein ab kaun fansega

mere certificates ko raddi kehne ki himmat kaun karega
bina dare sachi raay dene ki himmat kaun karega

stage par ab kis ke saath jaoonga
juniors ko faltoo ke lectures kaise sunaonga

achanak bin matlab ke kisi ko bhi dekh kar paglon ki tarah hansna
na jaane ye fir kab hoga
keh do doston ye dobaara sab hoga

doston ke liye professor se kab lad payenge
kya hum ye fir kar payenge

raat ko 2 baje paranthe khane kaun jayega
3 gilaas lassi peene ki shart kaun lagayega

kaun muje mere kabiliyat par bharosa dilayega
aur jyada hawa mein udne par zameen pe layega

meri khushi mein sach mein khush kaun hoga
mere gam mein muj se jyada dukhi kaun hoga

meri ye kavita kaun padega
kaun ise sach mein samjega

bahut kuch likhna abhi baaki hai
kuch saath shayad baaki hai

bas ek baat se dar lagta hai doston
hum anjnabi na ban jayein doston

zindagi ke rangon mein dosti ka rang feeka na pad jaye
kahin aisa na ho doosre rishton ki bheed mein dosti dum tod jayye

zindagi mein milne ki fariyaad karte rehna
agar na mil sakein to kam se kam yaad karte rehna

chahe jitna hanslo aaj mujh par
mein bura nahi manooga
is hansi ko apne dil mein basa loonga
aur jab yaad aayegi tumhari
yahi hansi lekar thoda muskura loonga

[contextly_sidebar id=”D8pEDJgJv7thEr8jRSAQ2u3cTHOZgfq4″]I wrote a poem in my college days as an ode to my college life…over the years i have seen it floating around a Lot..and it seems many people are claiming it as their own :P:P.changing 1 line here and there :P:P……no copywrite on internet it seems:)…if you find this poem posted somewhere let me know…love to see how people have given it their own twists:)

BTW This is the orignal was written specifically for ITM gurgaon 2006 Batch…a Shout out to all my Batch Mates….Heleooooooooooooo


Other poetry

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Inspirations Poetry

A Letter To ME from me

stading on the mountains i climed…
hearing the chains in my legs chime..
i try to listen to you…
in silence i try to find a voice..
passing a bondage as a choice…
i still try to listen to you..
i have all but nothing have i..
i feel claustrophobic in this limitless sky..
i am trying to listen and listen to you..
i m trying to listen but dont hear..
maybe you have fell silent out of fear..
hey me ,i want to listen to you..
you are there i know..
but covered yourself with this dark snow..
maybe when the time is right youll show..
maybe when the time is right youll show..
hey me,dont wait
try to come before its too late..
~written by me to me
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Guilty For not being guilty enough

have you ever felt guilty for not feeling guilty enough….
i mean…u know u did something wrong..knowingly or unkowingly..u know that and you are supposed to feel for it…
but all u feel is this just a glimpse of guilt…on the contrary u feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough…
am i emoitionless…maybe…m i the Bad man ..:P…donno…
now which one is the conscience…the one that is not feeling guilty enough…or the one that is telling me that i am not feeeling guilty enough……

maybe practicality is taking over emotions…maybe it was always the case….donno

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