Demonetization a success

A planned Marathon #Demonetization

Suppose I organize a 10hr marathon for charity and name it ‘demonetization’ , in which everyone in my org has to run irrespective of age, gender , health else they lose their jobs. 
 
  • 1 hour after the start, a few people start fainting and I realize , I did not account for water. I then call for water but I have a special request, all water should be served in special glasses printed for my marathon. I also forgot to order the glasses
  • 2 hours after the start I realize that though water is there , a lot of people are a lot thirsty and I did not order enough,so I ration it-only 1 glass per KM
  • 3hrs: Well, some people really need more water than others ,they are still fainting.I implement a rule:you can have 1 more glass if you already have a doctor’s note.if not , your problem ,not mine
  • 4hrs: Well while I was looking at the fast runners who were drinking more water, I forgot that there were heart patients who were running very slow,they never got any water because it finished before they reached any stop point. I make everyone else to freeze in their spot for 30 minutes so that heart patients can cover up a little and maybe have 1 glass of water, once.
  • 5hrs. Some people die of dehydration and I realize, I never really accounted for a doctor or a nurse or even basic first aid,so I do the next best thing-i let people have as much water as they want
  • 6hrs: I realize that people are drinking way more water than I accounted for,so I ration it back – only 0.5 glass per km. I shout at the water supplier who claims he has a limit to his supply, he cannot supply infinite amounts instantaneously.My request for specially printed glasses also adds to the delay
  • 7hrs: people are still dying and I am not sure so I call it “Sacrifice for the greater good”. I also realize, people are hungry and I never ordered food
  • 8hrs: I figure, the water supply is not that great so I ration..you can drink 0.5 glass only ONCE in the entire race. After you drink, I would mark your forehead with the company symbol so that you cannot drink again
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  • 10th hour: In a press Conference I declare: “It could not have been planned better” .I was nimble and agile , I took feedback and quickly rose to the occasion and made changes with authority.Demonetization was a success
  • The deaths I  blame on the water supplier for not being able to supply instantaneously at the speed of thought

/*********Update*************/

  • Now I claim that the real motive of Demonetization was to boost water sales  and help the struggling packaged water industry , which it did…hence Demonetization was a resounding success

/******End Update************/

/******Another Update******/

  • I saw employees helping each other get on their feet when they fell down, I saw a manager give a CPR to the peon who had a heart attack while running and a coder offering a tester some water after he just recovered from an asthma attack.
  • I put some glycerine in my eye and claim that the real reason for demonetization was to promote team spirit and the team(which survived) has never been closer. Hence Demonetisation was a success

/*******End Another Update****/

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