So I watched JTHJ and to be frank, it was an amazing eye opening experience. Such depth of character, such intelligent cinematography and such beautiful story. It could not have been made perfect
Anyways, we all pick cues about new trends and socially acceptable behaviors from movies so I thought it would be appropriate to talk about my learnings from this movie
In London you can be arrested for wrong parking: I am not kidding, this was actually there in the movie. Remember that song…That went Ta da..something something..etc etc..blah blah…? Sharukh and Katrina parked the bike at the wrong spot and the next moment you see two policemen noting down the bike number and Sharukh and Katrina in Handcuffs…yes Handcuffs.Those people are THAT strict about traffic laws. Can you imagine?
Sex in phone booth is for display not privacy: OK , I had my concepts all screwed up before this. I used to think that couples get on each other,literally, in phone booths because possibly they have no other private place…irrespective of how low the privacy is , it is better than “on the road” kind of thing BUT again in that song..yes the same as above, I saw both of them making out in a phone booth with glass walls, right on the streets with people walking past from all sides. I thought phone booth was somewhat akin a changing room in showrooms, little did I know that it was meant to be a display window .
Army and Rules…Forget it: I thought army was a very disciplined organization but it seems I was wrong. A bomb disposal squad can Chose to not wear protective gear,reporters can just join you in bomb disposal trials (without protection), you can chose to not shave for months and basically treat everything as your fiefdom. Rules..naaaa
How to use a mosquito repellent: I was doing it all wrong all my life. If I went camping , I sprayed the repellent in my tent and actually slept Inside it, little did I know that I need to play mind games with the mosquitoes and game the system. Anushka was shown spraying mosquito repellent in her tent and then finally sleeping outside it , not inside. Just Imagine how confused the mosquitoes would be..I can imagine the questions going in it’s mind
Bite or not bile is the question ..Is stupidity a contagious disease? What exactly is there in the tent? Am I dying for Nothing?
Retrograde amnesia, did you not know that?: In the scene where the doctor tells SRK that he has amnesia, he looked confused ,so to clarify the matters the doctor stressed..Retrograde Amnesia and all air was cleared. I can’t tell you how stupid I felt. Why did I, or most of the people I know not know this? Why is retrograde amnesia more explanatory than Amnesia…Please help me someone. I am too stupid to understand.
New ways to dump someone: Just tell them I made a promise to GOD that I will never meet you again in return for your good health , this is a perfectly logical and intelligent way of breaking up and makes a lot of sense. The best part is that it is not binding ,you can still keep on meeting the person ,like to tell them about your decision and when they fall ill again , cheating is allowed you see.And you can always reverse it by saying you misinterpreted God’s Will…Think about all the applications of this. I can see a lot of married men using this
“Katrina left SRK for his good health, you just keep one day fast (karvachouth), follow her”
Or even women
“I think I am not doing enough for your health, let me leave you..its for your own good ”
Swimming Champs can be drowned easily: Don’t get me started on this
To test if a Girl loves you , just kiss her. If she does not push you off she loves you.
Wanna try Bomb disposal in London? Sure why not? everyone’s invited: No seriously, if there is a bomb and everyone is being 
evacuated an you just know a few jargons, they will not only let you near the bomb but also try your hand at diffusing it.
Think about the applications, if some terrorist plants a bomb and it does not go of and is detected, he/she can simply walk up and correct it in live view, right under the nose of London police
If Katrina says she will marry you, she will NOT: I mean think about it, irrespective of how many years she has spent with you and maybe how much she likes you or even if her marriage has been fixed with you, she will NOT marry you. Someone will come.spend 2-3 days with her and she will fall for him.Be that guy.If you want Katrina, wait till her marriage is fixed and then find a way to be near her..maybe do her dishes , or mow her lawn….This is something she has done more than once..remember mere brother ki dulhan?
Treat GOD like Bollywood bad Dads: Yes exactly, they will almost kill your love and then blackmail you to leave them in lieu of letting your love live and that too without informing your love.Treat Gods like that…”God please let him live and I promise I will not meet him again so that he is devastated and lives like a dead man for the rest of his life”
So these were some of my learning from Jab tak hai jaan, in my defense I do like Sharukh khan movies and this movie was a must watch for me because it was the last movie of Yash Raj Ji. Little did i know that it was actually a comedy movie, and my apologies to all people in theater that day ,whose movie going experience was destroyed by uncontrolled laughter, disbeleif and contant clarification on “Did it actually happen” comments by me and my friends…It was un intentional
~By Madhur Chadha
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